Kittens, better than babies? Hah! Here now are the top ELEVEN reasons why babies are better than kittens (and, as any five-year-old will tell you, more reasons makes my list better. Nyah! Nyah! Nyah!)
11) Babies are rarely known to shed on furniture.
10) No one's allergic to a baby.
9) Having a kitten in the car doesn't let you drive in the carpool lane.
8) An exercise program you can really stick with... that you HAVE to stick with, whether you like it or not...
7) With a kitten, you don't get to watch otherwise normal adults making silly faces, jumping up and down, talking nonsense in a high pitched voice, and generally making fools of themselves. Hours of fun!
6) For an initial investment of a camera and few pieces of film, you can convince baby's grandparents to buy the kid all the cute but expensive clothes, toys, furniture, and major appliances s/he will ever need--a good photographer can buy nothing but diapers for a year. Cats never buy their grandkittens anything.
5) Babies don't have fleas. Babies don't give YOU fleas.
4) Free pregnancy/labor horror story with each baby. Commensurate with other mothers! Scare newly-pregnant friends! Get your husband to do twice the housework for months!
3) Two words: Tax deduction
2) Childbirth--the greatest crash diet ever! Lose 20 pounds in one day-- and keep it off, too!
And the number one reason babies are better than kittens:
1) Kittens never grow up to look at you and say "I love you, Daddy."
[original to me]