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Hair kit for men only
(original, chuckle, ads, parody)

After years of research, Mertus Enterprises, (ME Inc.) has
successfully combined the wisdom of the ancients with modern science
to produce the first 100% guaranteed treatment for hair loss.  Called
the Hair Kit for Men (copyright 1994), this ONE time treatment is the
only one to approved by the American Medical Association (AMA) as an
absolute preventive to baldness.

Our historians, after extensive field study, found the clue in the
mystic writting of the Grand Vizier to Sultan Suleyman the
Magnicificant, Ibrahim Rustem.  But it took years more for our
scientists to back his obversations, rites and witchcraft with sound
scientific evidence.  Hair lost is caused by the hormone testosterone
and by removing the glands that produce this testestrone, hair loss
is stopped in its tracts!

You may worry that removal would require an expensive operation, but
nature, in its infinite wisdom, put these destructive glands are on
the outside of your body!  ME Inc., has developed an instrument that
automatically makes a slight incision, removes these unsightly
glands, and then staples and bandages the cut.  You just attach the
tool, cock it, press the button and the spring load relieves your
tension about hair lost with a few quick (and almost painless)

How much would you expect to pay?  $100?  $200?  No!  For a limited
time only, the Hair Kit for Men is mere $29.95.  But wait, there is
more.  For absolutely free, we will enclose a ziplock bag printed
with the message "Warning, biological wastes" to help you disposal of
those useless glands.

Listen to these testimonials:

From Robert: When my first hair started falling out, I was scared,
but after receiving my Hair Kit for Men, not only did my hair lost
completely stop, but my concentration and work habits have improved.
Now when studying in the library and a co-ed walks by without a bra
and wearing a skin tight short skirt, I don't even glance up.  This
New Year day I didn't watch a single football game!  The improved
concentration has changed me from a dumb jock into a Dean's list
honor student.  My parents were never so proud!

From Jack:  Not only did the Hair Kit for Men stop my hair loss, but
it prevents the growth of unwanted hair!  I never will have to shave
again!  My savings in razors alone made up the purchase price many
times over.  Now I have no use for my Dad's old Razor Strop.  I feel
like a new man.

From Jennifer: On my husband's birthday, I surprised him with the
Hair Kit for Men while he was asleep.  This Christmas, for the first
time ever, he didn't buy me skimpy, too tight, impractical lingerie
as a present, but useful cotten briefs.  The Hair kit has even
reduced the number of headaches I have at night.  As a family, it has
drawn us closer: we now both sing soprano in the church choir.

So just E-mail your Visa, Mastercard or American Express number, with
expiration date, to ME@ME.COM, and ME Inc. will send you the Hair Kit
for Men for the low cost of $29.95 plus $99.99 for shipping and
handling.  So confident is ME Inc. that Hair Kit for Men will change
your life, we don't even offer a money back guarantee should you not
like the product.

Besides preventing baldness, the AMA approves this procedure for
prevention of prostrate and bladder cancers, heart disease, and even
violent death.  It has been shown to increase IQ and decrease fights
in married couples.

Order now, before this offer expires in 2016.  If you can't use it,
buy one for you husband or boyfriend.  Remember, not only is my wife,
a medical doctor, the owner and founder of Mertus Enterprises Inc.,
but I was its first member.

Warning:  May cause weight gain and not to be used in domestic disputes.

-John"At last I've stopped my hair loss"Mertus

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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