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Cat Food Killer (Karina Montgomery)
(smirk, cooking)

So this woman has her bridge club every Thursday night, and after a
peaceful game or three with the ladies she goes home to fix her husband
dinner when he gets home from work.  Well, one Thursday, she's playing a
great game, she has an incredible hand, when she notices the time.
"Oh, no!  I have to go fix my husband his dinner!  He's going to be so
angry if it's not ready on time."  And she dashes out fo her friend's
house, her great hand forgotten on the table.

When she gets home, she realizes she has very little time, not enough to go
to the grocery store, and all she has in the cupboard is a wilted lettuce
leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food.  In a panic, she opens the can of cat
food, mizes in the egg, and garnishes it with the lettuce leaf just as her
husband is pulling up.  She watches in horror as he sits down to his
dinner, and then she realizes he is loving it!
"MMMM, honey, this is the best dinner you have made for me in 40 years of
marriage.  You can make this for me any old day, mmmmm!"  And that night
they had sex for the first time in months, and it was great!

Needless to say, every Thursday from then on she made this dinner for her
husband.  She tells her bridge cronies about it and they are all horrified.
"You're going to kill him," they say, or "He's just yanking your chain,"
but she continued to make him his catfood dinner and then afterward they
would boink like fiends.

One week, her husband died, and all the bridge women the Thursday after the
funeral attacked our new widow for being so callous.  "You killed him!"
"We told you you would, feeding him that cat food every week!"  "How can
you just sit there so calmly and play bridge knowing you murdered your

"Ah, I didn't kill him, he fell off the mantel when he was licking his ass."

Told to me by Kim Kennedy of west New York, NJ

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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