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The Pilgrims

demya001@maroon.tc.umn.edu (Alex Demyanov)
(smirk, holidays)

I originally posted this article several days ago into the 
soc.culture.soviet newsgroup as a response to a question "What the hell
are pilgrims?" posted by someone (who genuinly didn't know) in the context 
of "American Dream" chat. 



Pilgrims were the guys in stupid-looking black hats who basically put 
together foundation of the American Values System.  That happened somewhere
in New England. They invented the Thanksgiving Day tradition, the ceremony 
initially being rather ascetic: the thanksgivers were supposed to eat a 
turkey and then throw the remaining bones to the thankstakers - a few 
surviving Indi... sorry, Native Americans.  The concept of the "American 
Dream" that Zak was referring to was also defined by pilgrims.  The full
"wish list" is kept in Washington right next to the original Constitution.
It can be also found in almost any college history textbook.  It reads: 
 
"We the Pilgrims, members of The Stupid Hat And Long Black Coat Order,
 hereby declare heredeclared Herecanonized Canonic American Dream as one
 including all the hereinto included as herefollows:

 1. One shall own a house to house his immediate family with an attached
    garage to garage his immediate station-wagon.

 2. The said one together with the abovementioned family shall eat a stuffed
    turkey with cranberry sause and mashed multiple instances of a potato at
    least twice a year.

 3. One shall have enough income to be able to send his offspring off to 
    college as soon as they start to ask where the babies come from.  In the
    case of one not having income sufficient for the stated purpose one
    may have to find out the truth and tell it to the offspring in question.

(From the "Rest" of RHF)


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