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Guidelines for Submissions -- Once-Only Re-Posting (Sam Nelson)
(chuckle, original, parody)

             Rules for Submitters - From Around The World
                            (He means it!)

If you plan to submit material for rec.humor.funny, you are asked to follow
the set of guidelines detailed below.  Some of these may seem contrived
and arbitrary (hey, he said it, not me!), and some exist simply to make 
the moderator's life a little easier.  The guidelines sometimes aren't
explained properly, so, just this once, they've been re-edited for the
benefit of the international community.

In brief:

        Provide a meaningful subject line
          - Your joke should, if possible, refer to the most obscure item
            of news this week/month/year in the Continental US.  You have
            all got CNN these days, right?  Readers of your joke outside
            this general area will love spending many happy days researching
            the content of your posting and this makes the laugh all the
            better when they eventually figure out what it means.

            Alternatively, frame your posting around some obscure US custom;
            then everyone will have to resort to their library's encyclopedias
            and American Studies sections to figure it out---still more fun!

        Submit to the right address -- there are several
          - Submit FROM the right address, as well.  It should end in
            `edu', `com', `mil', `gov', `net' or `org'---anywhere else
            just isn't worth bothering with.

        Attribute the source
          - You might just get past the source address limitation if someone
            American originally thought up your idea.  Documentary proof
            may be necessary (a driving licence with photograph, for

        No copyrighted works
          - At least, not US copyright...

        Clearly mark original submissions
          - So that we can include you in the `Best Original American
            Joke Posting Of The Year' competition

        Avoid signatures, particularly long ones
          - The more signature, the better your chances of being discovered
            to be non-American, so it's in your own interests.

        Spell check and manually proofread your submissions
          - To ensure that words like `colour' and `organise' are spelt
            correctly, `schedule' is spoken with a `k' sound inside quotes,
            and that phrases such "Happy New Year" and "Frankly, my dear,
            I don't give a damn" have the inflective stress in the correct

        Check out other formatting and joke type guidelines
          - Satire is particularly frowned upon, as is attempting to parody
            the style of the moderators.

        Beware of jokes of only regional interest
          - However, so long as the region involved is `the Continental
            United States of America', that'll be just fine.

Happy posting!

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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