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Bobbitt hillbillies.. (Randy Wigginton)
(topical, smirk)

sung to the tune of beverly hillbillies.......

The Ballad of The Bobbit Hillbillies

 Here's a little story 'bout a man named John
 A poor ex-Marine (with a little fraction gone)
 It seems one night after gettin' with his wife
 She lopped off his schlong with the swipe of a knife
 (Penis, that is)
 (Rodeoed, fillet-ioed)

 Well the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side
 And Lorena's in the car takin' Willie for a ride
 She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend
 And tossed him out the window as she rounded round a bend
 (Curve , that is)
 (Pricker shrubs, wheel hubs)

 She went to the cops and confessed to the attack
 And they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back
 They sniffed and they barked, then they pointed "over there"
 To John Wayne's henry that was wavin' in the air
 (Found, that is)
 (By a fence, evidence)

 Now peter and John couldn't stay apart too long
 So a dick-doc said' "Hey! I can fix your little dong"
 "A needle and a thread's just the thing you're gonna need"
 Then the world held it's breath 'till they heard that John had peed.
 (Wizzed, that is)
 (Stiched seam, straight stream)

 Well he healed, and he hardened, and he took his case to court
 With a lame-o cock-eyed lawyer (since his assets came up short)
 They cleared her of assult, and acquitted him of rape
 And his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tape
 (Video, that is)
 (Unexposed, case closed)

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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