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True story:

The other day, my mom, a avid doll collector, showed our family her new
doll, Ideal Man.  She pulled the string and it said clever things like:

   Your smile makes my day.
   You relax and I'll do the dishes.
   Here's a glass of wine, I'll go start a fire.
   I respect your career.
   You look wonderful.
   How about a nice long massage?
   Let me hold you, I need your warmth.

Everyone was laughing when my mom wondered what if there was an Ideal
Woman doll and what might that doll say.  Without a beat my 72-year-old
father-in-law chimed:  "It's probably blank on both sides!"

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