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Special Pepsi Cola Edition (Maddirator)
(topical, smirk)

Here are several jokes on the Pepsi-Cola tampering
situation.  Background for non-USA readers: A Washington
State woman found a syringe in a can of Pepsi, and when
the story hit the national news, more than 30 other
similar claims were made around the country.

(source: Tony Nardo [original])

On the news today, I heard that another hypodermic needle had been
discovered in a can of Diet Pepsi can -- this time in Louisianna.

After a moment's reflection, I realized, "So that's the source of the
mysterious '100% Uh-Huh' ingredient touted in Pepsi commercials!"  I wonder
just what type of "Uh-Huh" was in those needles...

No wonder Pepsi changed its slogan to, "Gotta Have It!"  It's not a quality
boast -- it's truth in advertising!

Subject: Pepsi Summer Contest
From: (Jeff Gunelson)

(an original as far as I know.  If it is, I wonder why no one has thought of
this before.)

Didja hear about the New Pepsi Summer Contest?

1 in 10,000,000 has a free syringe.

Odds vary from state to state.


Subject: old superstition brought up to date 
From: (Andrew Koenig)
Keywords: topical, original, chuckle

You know how people used to say you shouldn't mix Coke and aspirin?

The modern version: don't mix extra-strength Tylenol with Diet Pepsi.


Subject: Brand New Pepsi Challenge
From: dbsun! (hulsey)

Announcing the new Pepsi Challenge Contest!

Yes!  You too can be a big winner in the brand new Pepsi Challenge Contest!

We have hidden various prizes inside Pepsi products all over the country.
Just look at what these prizes can be worth.

Metal screw             -- $10,000
Rusty metal screw       -- $20,000
Hypodermic needle       -- $100,000
Rusty hypodermic needle -- $200,000
Complete syringe        -- $500,000

And for the grand prize

Complete syringe filled with unknown substance -- $1,000,000

To redeem your prize, simply contact the nearest personal injury lawyer.
The lawyer will give you further instructions on how to claim your prize.

Hurry!  The contest ends soon!

Subject: Health care in a can
From: (Elliott Schiff)
Keywords: topical, chuckle, original


To participate, simply purchase a specially unmarked can of Diet
Pepsi (tm).  Most cans contain nothing but the refreshing taste of
"Huh?"  (Sorry, you are not an instant winner, please try again.)
But, if you find one of five hundred (500) cans with a syringe
inside, you are the winner of FREE HEALTH CARE for life!  Should
you detect a syringe before opening, you will receive a special
bonus of free health care for UP TO FOUR FAMILY MEMBERS!  Booby
prize:  find a screw in your Diet Pepsi (tm) and win a date with
Hillary Clinton.

Contest open to all US citizens with a social security number.
Employees of the United States Government, the AMA, Pepsico, and
their immediate families are ineligible to win prizes.  Health
care must be purchased and administered in the United States.
Winner is solely responsible for all taxes applicable.  The
decision of the judges is final.  Contest void on the Jersey Shore
and where prohibited by law.   Do not drink Pepsi directly from
the can. Bill claims no responsibility for diseases contracted
during the date with Hillary.


From: (Steve Forrette)
Keywords: topical, smirk, original

Recently, the Pepsi Cola bottler in Washington state has gotten some bad PR
because two cans of Diet Pepsi turned up with syringes in them, in addition
to the beverage.  Pepsi has been doing some damage control, saying that they
don't know how this could happen.  I think that they should capitalize on
the situation, and promote their corporate commitment to needle-exchange


(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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