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Where does my j-ke go? (Matthew S. 'Opie' Warren)
(original, chuckle)


Anyone who's submitted a joke to r.h.f receives in reply a form letter that contains, among other things, the following disclaimer:

>Remember that when you submit here, you give me permission for
>unlimited distribution of your joke--including networks like GEnie--
>and the right to put it in the annual jokebook.

I wondered exactly how unlimited this right was. After a little research, I compiled the Top Ten Places Your Joke Will Wind Up:

10. Translated into Urdu and performed to unsuspecting tourists as native poetry

9. Read out by Republicans filibustering Freedom of Choice Act 8. Featured in the trailer for Star Trek XII: Kirk and Spock Get A Nasty Case of Parkinson's

7. Used to cheer up out-of-power Mikhail Gorbachev

6. Introduced as evidence in the tenth Rodney King trial, the one where they charge the four policemen with using swear words

5. Evaluated in Pentagon's $690-billion plan to re-initiate the famed Joke Warfare system that won us World War II

4. Recorded backwards on new Def Leppard album and promptly banned by President Gore, who succeeded the late Clinton after the tragic horseshoe incident

3. Suddenly discovered in the newly-made-public Dead Sea Scrolls, much to the chagrin of the Israeli Government

2. Secretly written to the disks of unsuspecting Prodigy users

And the NUMBER ONE Place Your Joke Will Wind Up after it's sent out to hundreds of thousands of rec.humor.funny readers is:

1. The bit bucket

[Okay, so it really says, "unlimited electronic distribution." But that's not nearly so funny.]

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