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Amazing Fortune Telling Machine

alex@ipac.caltech.edu
(smirk)

This guy is at a train station and he has half an hour to kill so he's
    bored and he's wandering around and he sees one of thsoe old-fashioned
    scales which gives you a fortune. So he thinks, what the heck, and he
    goes over to it and puts in a quarter and stands on it, and a card pops
    out which says "your name is David Roth, you're Jewish, and you
    weight 162 pounds". And as it happens, his name is David Roth and he
    is Jewish, and he is totally amazed. So he goes over to the ticket
    window, and asks the teller if he can give the scale a try, so the
    teller stands on it and his card says "you're name is Richard Miller,
    you're half Irish, and you weigh 190 pounds." and the teller assures
    him that this is correct. And they are both really amazed and puzzled,
    so they wander arund the station looking for someone to fool the scale.
    They finally find a guy who is half russian and half australian
    aborigine, and has a wooden arm. And this guy stands on the scale puts
    in his quarter, and his card reads "your name is sergei Goolagong, you
    have a wooden arm, you're half russian and half australian aborigine,
    and you weight 193 pounds". And they are all flabbergasted. So David
    Roth (the first guy) gets really puzzled and tries to figure out how to
    fool the scale, so he remembers a friend of his who is one quarter
    lithuanian, one quarter american indian, one quarter german and one
    quarter hottentot, and is a midget" So he drives off to find her , and
    she agrees to come stand on the scale, and when she does, she puts in a
    quarter and gets a card which says "your name is Moonbeam Steiner, you
    are a midget, you are one quarter lithuanian, one quarter american
    indian, one quarter german and one quarter hottentot,
    and you weigh 103 pounds". So David Roth thinks for a while and then
    says, wait, get back on the scale. So she does, and then he stands on
    the scale next to her, and he puts in a quarter. And out pop two
    cards. One says "your name is Moonbeam Steiner, you are a midget, you
    are one quarter lithuanian, one quarter american indian, one quarter
    german and one quarter hottentot, and you weigh 103 pounds". The other
    card says "your name is David Roth, you're Jewish, you weigh 162
    pounds, and you just missed your train"

(From the "Rest" of RHF)


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