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Update on the new economic plan (trygve lode)
(topical, smirk)

President Bill Clinton has proposed a new far-reaching economic plan that
promises to slash the deficit while eliminating poverty and bringing
prosperity to all Americans.  "Soak the rich" is the catchphrase of the day,
but unlike past tax increases which, over the last few decades, have always
worsened the economy, Clinton's plan guarantees to make us all better off
financially than we are today.  What's the secret behind the President's plan?
It's so simple that it's amazing that no previous administration had thought
of it--the key to the success of Clinton's economic package is a small but
beautifully elegant provision that requires all publishers of dictionaries to
replace their current, obsolete definitions of words like "rich," "wealthy,"
"affluent," etc., with the new, improved definitions that are even now being
drafted by a select group of Congressional committees, IRS administrators, and
other high-level bureaucrats.
It's too early to say exactly what these new definitions will be--the
currently approved portions of the definitions that will be required to be
included in all subsequently published dictionaries are already in excess of
eight thousand pages in length and are still far from complete--but it looks
like the new definitions will be comprehensive and far-reaching enough that,
once the new plan goes into effect, every single American citizen will be able
to truthfully describe herself as "fabulously wealthy."  If you already own a
dictionary, you'll be required to replace the appropriate definitions as well;
for your convenience, change packets will be made available in a variety of
page sizes for a nominal fee.
In a related note, word is that Clinton is preparing a job-creation plan that
will completely eliminate unemployment overnight using a similar approach.
More on this as it develops.
Trygve Lode, 1993

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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