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Dear.... Who? (Bob Kirkpatrick)
Dog Ear'd Systems of Spokane, WA.
(topical, smirk)

In an article <> from

>I'm always scanning the list of jobs available (but there is a hiring freeze 
>on) and so I've handwritten letters (for the personal touch) to several 
>departments listing my wonderful qualities and enclosing my resume.  I would
>gladly leave the university for a career that challenges me.  
>My question.  What else can I do to advertise me, my qualities, my desires,
> and get into something I like?  

Dear Stuck in Colorado,

Indeed you do appear to have the exuberance and vivaciousness required
to be a valuable member of a 'people' team. Your anxiousness to make a
move is well timed, too.

Today's climate offers the person person a myriad of opportunities for
change and advancement --and, it's very easy to do!

Select a politician whose platform is abominable to you, and give an
interview with the local news media claiming to have had an ongoing
affair with this individual. Due to recent changes in the attitudes
of the public, it is no longer necessary to ensure that they are of
the opposite gender as yourself.

Reaction of the job market is swift, and before you know it, you'll
be swamped with offers from many of todays most popular publications
and broadcasters. Just think, in only days you may ride the swell
from your boring and lackluster position to the pages of Cosmopolitan,
Playboy, and even the New York Times! You'll have the opportunity to
interract with MILLIONS through the auspices of Donohue, Geraldo, Oprah
and Sally Jesse Raphael! Countless people will hang on your every word
as the cameras move in for extreme close-up on the Tonight Show with
Jay Leno, and crowds will "woof-woof-woof" you on Arsenio!

Sound terrific? IT IS! Not only that, but you'll be performing one of
the only remaining political activism avenues left for Americans.

Think of it! Money, fame, notoriety and fun, fun, fun! 

If you have reservations about your ability to make this leap to the
best your life can be, we can help! Our organization offers classes
in the appropriate diplomacy of provocateurism and exploitation. Our
rates are highly competetive too!

For more information write:

The Jennifer Flowers Institute
12134 Carlsbad Ave.
Chicago, IL 60608

--[from]-- (Bob Kirkpatrick)
Dog Ear'd Systems of Spokane, WA

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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