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More Phone Jokes

walrus@bessel.umd.edu (Grig Larson)
(true, chuckle, original)

 
Based on ther message on how to deal with stockbrokers who try to sell you
their garbage by calling you right before lunch break, here is a similar
story based on one very boring afternoon at home with a Long-Distance
Company <this was done just after AT&T Broke up, some names have been altered
due to poor memory>.
 
RING RING RING
Me: Hello?
SM: Hello, I am Gern Blanston representing the Flint Long Distance company. How are you today, sir?
Me: <bemused> Fine.
SM: May I ask you what type of long distance company you are using?
Me: <now witha devilish grin> Duuuh... I duuno....
SM: You don't know? Well how would you like to be hooked up with the best
    sattelite phone network of the 80's? We use-
Me: Duh, sure. Can I call my freind from, uh, far away?
SM: Er, yes. Our long distance service uses the best-
Me: <trying to keep from giggling> He lives in Pango Pango...
SM: Yes, I see. Well you can call your fried overseas at a rate you'll-
Me: He has a lizard you know.... his name is Ralph.
SM: I see, well you can-
Me: Ralph the lizard. He is green and sits in a tree.
SM: Well-
Me: A palm tree... with lots of, uh... leaves.
SM: <haggardly> Well, you will save money by using our new optical-
Me: Save money? Really?
SM: Of course! And if you-
Me: Well, how much is it per yard?
SM: Pardon me? <really threw him there>
Me: How much is it per yard. Pango Pango is pretty far away from here...
SM: Well, I never really thought about it that way, but I can assure you-
Me: Will you have to drill a hole in my roof?
SM: Ah, no. You see, it works like this-
Me: 'Cause my friend Tom got one of them black dishes that you put on your
    roof... and then he fell off and hurt himself real bad...
SM: Well, me don't actually come to your house-
Me: Crushed his wife's poodle. Flattened him right out, he did...
SM: If you could give me a minute to explain the proceess-
Me: Did I tell you I had a friend in Pango Pango?
 
I kept doing this act for about 20 minutes before the guy just finnaly gave me
his number to call him back. That salesman hung on like a pit bull! I guess
he must have thought I was so stupid, he would eventually sell me something.
 

(From the "Rest" of RHF)


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