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SCRIPT I (fwd) (Mike Clark)

From ginger::ginger::mrgate::"a1::michaelc" Thu Dec 26 17:10:48 1991

From:	NAME: Michael J. Clark              
	FUNC: Security                        
	TEL: (603)535-2330                    <MICHAELC AT A1 AT GINGER>
To:	michaelc@oz@mrgate
Author:	Michael J. Clark              

                          AUTOMATION IN THE 20th CENTURY
                               By Michael J. Clark
         The setting is a typical bedroom, a woman is in the bed asleep, 
         next to her bed is a night stand with an alarm clock and a 
         telephone.  Suddenly the woman awakens to the sound of a strange 
         noise in the house, she looks around, starts to panic and then 
         picks up her phone to call the police.
         Woman: (Startled and panicked, talking out loud to herself in a 
         low tone) "I-I-I-I've got to call the police, there's someone
         here, oh God I know there is, let's see...what's the number, 
         (she nervously punches the numbers into the phone.)  
         After a few rings the phone is answered, there is a delay, then 
         we hear: "Welcome to our emergency phone mate 911, the automated 
         emergency answering system, the latest in emergency response 
         technology!  If you are calling from a touch tone phone, please 
         enter a 1 at the tone, enter now"......(the woman looks both 
         shocked and puzzled as she nervously punches in a "1") "Thank 
         you, our emergency phone mate 911 recognizes that you are 
         calling from a touch tone phone......To serve you better your 
         police and emergency services have set up this system to route 
         your call to the appropriate emergency service personnel......If 
         you are in need of police assistance enter a 5, if you require 
         information in Spanish, enter 7, in Chinese enter 4, in Greek 
         enter 9, in French enter 6 or Italian enter an 8, if you wish 
         fire or medical service enter a 3 and the corresponding 
         numerical code for the language in which you will be speaking or 
         in need of repeat the previous information 
         please enter 0.......Enter your code now please"......(the 
         woman, who has now gone from fear and panic to being irritated 
         and confused enters a 5 and waits.....) "Emergency phone mate 
         911 recognizes that you have requested police assistance in 
         English....In order to better serve you, please enter the 
         appropriate number at the tone....a 1 if your call is not an 
         emergency, a 2 if you need information, a 3 if you are 
         returning a call from a police official, a 4 if you are 
         inquiring about a parking ticket, or a 5 if this is an 
         emergency, enter your code now"........(she shakes her head and 
         rolls her eyes and enters a 5 quite forcefully) "Emergency phone 
         mate 911 recognizes that you have a police emergency, please 
         enter a 1 if it is a life threatening emergency, a 2 if it is a 
         non life threatening emergency, a 3 if there are weapons 
         involved, a 4 if there are multiple perpetrators, a 5 if the 
         perpetrators are non English speaking and will require a Miranda 
         warning in any other language....Please be sure to enter the 
         appropriate language code if you enter a 5....if the police 
         emergency is a non life threatening rape or physical assault 
         please enter a 7.......  
         (the woman now has lost her temper, she punches in a 2 saying 
         out loud "How the hell do I know if it's life threatening or not 
         you imbecile!)  "Emergency phone mate 911 recognizes that you 
         have a police emergency that is non life threatening, emergency 
         phone mate will now direct your call to the appropriate 
         department for response.....please hold while your call is 
         transferred.....(we hear ringing......, the phone is answered)  
         "Dunkin Donuts, may I help you?" ........

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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