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Latest Sun and IBM announcements (Chuck Musciano)
Harris Corp. Melbourne, FL
(computer, smirk, original)

     It seems that each week, you hear of yet another subsidiary being spun
off by Sun, and IBM forming another alliance with some smaller company.  This
announcement crossed my desk today:


     Sun Microsystems today announced the creation of yet another subsidiary,
bringing the total number of Sun wholly-owned subsidiaries to 1,207.  After
successfully creating SunSoft, Sun Microsystems Computer Corporation, SunPICS,
SunConnect, and a number of other smaller firms, Sun has created SunLHMPPP.
SunLHMPPP is tasked with addressing the specific niche market of users that
require both left handed mice and a parallel printer port on their workstations.

     Howard Detwieler, president of SunPR, the public relations subsidiary of
Sun, explained the move: "We feel that a growing number of left handed users
are moving into the workstation world, and a lot of them have printers with
parallel ports.  By creating this new company to meet their needs, left handed
users with parallel printers can be assured of specific, long term help from

     The firm is composed of six employees in an office down the hall from
Scott McNealy.  The president of SunLHMPPP, Fred Testaverno, is bullish about
his target market.  "We think that this will be a big, big profit opportunity
for Sun.  Our initial research indicates that the left handed users with
parallel printers market is so big, we have begun the process of creating two
sub-subsidiaries, SunLHMPPP-LHM and SunLHMPPP-PPP.  That way, we can meet the
needs of left handed users WITHOUT parallel printers.  And vice versa.  
Or both."

     Sun Microsystems is a three billion dollar firm that produces a variety
of advanced computing hardware and software.  Sun focuses on powerful solutions
to the big problems facing companies in the '90s: too many vice presidents, and
too few promotion slots in upper management.

     In a related story, IBM has announced a long-term technology sharing
agreement with the Denny's restaurant chain.  An IBM spokesman indicated that
the move is an indication of IBM's commitment to stay in business through a
series of increasingly pathetic consortium attempts.  "Frankly, our competitors
are eating our lunch in this very competitive marketplace.  With Denny's, we
can start serving lunch, and maybe stay ahead of the game."

     Analysts welcome the move, pointing out that both firms mesh nicely.  "IBM
has never been in the restaurant business, and the only computers at Denny's 
are the cash registers.  The two firms complement each other perfectly.  Best
of all, both companies can retain the menu driven interfaces to their products
without confusing the end user!"

     The first joint effort between the two companies will be an offering from
IBM involving expansion disk drives encased in an edible, pita bread housing.
Denny's will begin selling a Grand Slam Workstation, and will offer a free 
memory upgrade to every customer on their birthday.

     IBM is a multi-jillion dollar firm that used to sell a large number of
computers.  They continue to stay in business, even though no one has met a 
person who has actually purchased an IBM machine in the past five years.

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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