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Olsen's Standard Book of Birds -- Ontario Version (Ken Braithwaite)

    This is an original submission.

From Olsen's Standard Book of Birds, pp74-75

DOUBLE-BREASTED TWIT, also known as the "Bobrae". Its name derives
partly from its colouration (washed out pink) and partly from its
personality. Indigenous to Ontario, it is closely related to the
Svenrobinson in its preening, pontificating manner and to the Ronreagan
in its fiscal responsibility.

HABITAT: The Bobrae prefers to be wherever there is a soapbox, podium,
grandstand, or camera. Its natural habitat is crowds of the
self-righteous, bombastic, and naive. Most days it can be found in

NESTING HABITS: The Bobrae lays an egg wherever it goes.

PREY: The Bobrae preys upon unfashionable minorities, such as Muslims
who prefer to shop on Sunday, landlords who build and maintain low-rent
housing, and those who have found a job at "Adults Only" video stores.

NATURAL ENEMIES: economists, logicians, civil libertarians.

SONG: "I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a deficit today."

FLIGHT: The Bobrae rarely flies, prefering to walk on the rights of

EATING: Being gutless the Bobrae is especially easy to dress. However
most find it too oily to be satisfactory.

DISTINCTIVE MARKINGS: The Bobrae has a characteristic patterning on its left
wing, which reads "You can't read that; its for your own good. You can't
say that; its for your own good." 

MATING HABITS: While outwardly prudish, the Bobrae is currently engaged
in screwing 10,000,000 of its fellows.

Ken Braithwaite
"A cloud of critics, of compilers, of commentators, darkened the face of
learning" -- Edward Gibbon

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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