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Bionic Flea!

mikeg@luser.UUCP (Mike Gallenstein)
Rorschach Corp. Louisville, KY
(original, smirk)

Ok ... Ok ... I was bored on rainy afternoon.  Everyone that has read it has
gotten a chuckle, so I decided to submit this.  Enjoy! :-)


                             THE BIONIC FLEA


    "Hurry Girdy!  We have to run for the head!  Now!"
    "Just a minute Jon!  Let's see you carry some larva!  These things are
almost mature.  They weigh a ton."
    "Ok, ok.  Just speed it up.  The white death will start any moment now."
    "Look Jon!  This one is about to hatch!."
    "Hmmm!?  Damn.  Great timing.  Give it here.  I'll carry it."
    The trek to the head would be a long journey.  Any flea living on a
dachshund knew this.  Jon often found himself wondering as to who made the
rule that fleas have to live on the rump.  "Come on!  It's starting!  Run!
Everyone run!  Run for your lives!"
    The white death fell like snow from the sky.  Everyone knew that if it
touched them, they would die.  The sight of an entire population of fleas
running in one direction was truly spectacular.  Something to rival even the
Boston Marathon.  Little did they know that there was no escape.
    The first one to reach the neck was dead within a few heartbeats.  He was
looking over his shoulder, and did not see the flea-collar.  He ran straight
into it.  The others were awe struck.  The collar was not there this morning.
None of the scouts reported anything of it.
    A massive panic filled the masses as the white death came closer. Trapped,
most lost their minds.  Some decided to take their chances by jumping off.
Jon knew this was stupid.  If the white death and a collar were being use,
then other more horrible things awaited outside.  He could think of one thing.
Save the life of his nearly born child.  There was but one thing to do.
"Girdy.  I don't think we're going to make it though this one."
    "I know Jon.  I love you."
    "I love you too.  But we might be able to save our child.  By the time he
hatches, the white death will have been absorbed by our bodies.  If we cover
him with ourselves, he might stand a chance."
    "I know Jon.  I was thinking the same thing."
    The white death rained down with a new fury.  Screams of pain could be
heard from everywhere.  As Jon's and Girdy's body were laced in white, a
paralyzing effect took ahold of them.  Then pain.  Then darkness.  Jon's last
thought was of his child.  He could only hope he would to the world good.
    Three days later, Jon and Girdy's child was hatched.  His first sight was
of his dead mother and father.  He looked at the other corpses spread around.
He knew what had happened.  He knew what his parents did.  It was then and
there that he decided to dedicate himself to helping others of his kind.  He
would become a hero for all flea-kind.

				 CHAPTER 1

		               The Beginning.

January 1

     It has been two years since the death of my parents.  I have done nothing
but study during this time.  I specialized in pesticides.  I have also become
a master at the martial arts.  I feel that I am now ready to face the world.
I have finally chosen a name for myself.  I shall be known as the Bionic Flea.
                             -- Taken from the Bionic Flea's personal journal.

    "Hurry Sara!  The scouts say that the white death will start any minute!"
    "Ok Pat!  Help me carry some of your children.  These are your larva too,
you know!"
    "I'm sorry.  Here you take what I can't carry."
    "It's starting!  The white death is starting!  Run!  Run for the head!"
    "Pat, I'm scared.  What if we don't make it?"
    "Don't worry.  We'll make it.  I have yet to let you down."
    The scouts were seldom wrong.  They said the white death would come.  It
has.  They also said that this was a new white death.  More powerful.  From
the looks of things, they were far from wrong.  Already over half the
population was laid waste.  Only the upper quarter has had the chance to
escape.  The the only thing in favor for them was that this was not a
dachshund.  The trip to the head would be a quick one.
    The first one to reach the neck screamed in anger.  She could  not believe
her eyes.  A white collar blocked the passage.  The scouts had been so busy
worrying about the new white death, they failed to research the head.
    What was left of the population just stood in silence as the white death
crept closer.  Pat and Sara thought of jumping off the dog.  But the dangers
out there were just as great.  If only they could save their children.  If
only they could have a chance at life.
    A small child tugged on her mothers leg.  She pointed to the sky.  With
her small flea eyes, she tried to make out what her child was pointing at.  It
looked as if it was a large flea, flying through the air.  At first she
thought it was side affect from the new white death.  She then realized that
the white death was not yet upon them.
    "Sara!  Look!"
    As Sara raised her head, she saw a large metallic flea coming in for a
landing.  As it approached the dog, wheels came out from the bottom.  It
touched down and immediately started to speed toward them.  It sped through
the white death, and began approaching the mass of fleas gathered near the
collar.  A path was made to give the giant metallic flea access to the collar.
    The Flea-mobile got as close as it could to the collar.  With the press of
a button, a large laser extended from the top.  A bright flash of light, and
suddenly the collar was melted.  It fell to the floor.  "Sara!  Come on!  We
can get through!"
    With the path free now, every flea was moving at top speed to the head.
In the sudden rush Sara dropped one of her children.  "Pat!  Help me!  I've
dropped one!"
    With everyone yelling and crying in joy, Pat could not hear his beloved.
Sara was kneeling down to reclaim her lost young, and failed to see the
frenzied group heading for her.  Pat turned around just in time to see her
trampled.  Or so he thought.
    As she was picking up her young, Sara felt a sudden yank at her waist.
She thought it was Pat coming to help.  When she raised her eyes, she saw a
hooded, muscular flea figure stare back and say  "Hang on to your child."
    He reached for his Flea-belt, and withdrew his gas spike.  He pointed it
at the top of one of the dogs hairs.  A small puff of white gas and the spike
sped into the hair.  Making sure that line was secure, he pressed another
button and Sara and the Flea were both speeding out of harms way.  Sara did
not look down to see how close she had come to death.  She only knew that for
a brief instant she thought she felt the antennas of others brush against her
    The Flea was knew they were not out of danger yet.  The white  death was
still coming.  He knew that his Bionic Flea suite would protect him, but the
mother and her child would die.  He reached down and pressed a button on the
Flea-belt again.  Two small exhaust ports opened on his back.  "Here.  Wrap
this around you, and pray."
    Sara quickly complied.  The Flea tied the strap to himself.  Just as the
white death was rain upon them, the two exhaust ports were filled with flame.
The Flea cut himself loose from the hair.  He and his delicate cargo
gracefully streamed to the head. The eyes of every flea were upon them as they
landed in safety.
    The white death stopped at the neck.  Practically everyone in  the upper
quarter made it out alive.  Thanks to their hero.  Sara  stood in front of the
Flea grasping her child.  The Flea unwrapped Sara from the strap.  "Thank you.
Who are you?  How can I ever repay you?"
    "I am known as the Bionic Flea.  Your thanks is enough payment.  I suggest
you gather what remains of your belongings, and move on.  Soon the dip will
    With that the Flea turns to return to his ship.  As he walks through the
white death, Sara turns to Pat and whispers "I think our race has found a
    The Flea reclaimed his Flea-mobile.  He entered it and brushed off the
powder that had collected on his boots.  Sitting at the controls, he glanced
out the window to see everyone waving.  He thought to himself, "Not bad for a
first run."


Stay tuned for Chapter 2 -- The Enemy

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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