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Looking for boyfriend

(sexual stereotypes, chuckle, sexual)

A bunch of us wrote the following after reading a joke recently received re: "Looking for a girl friend." We thought that there should be a sequel to this entitled: "Looking for a boy friend." I must confess that I am on a number of listservers and may have missed a joke re: "Looking for a boy friend," but I can't recall seeing one. Could you please consider this for nutworks.

Following are some of the requirements.

* Make and Model Human/Male

* Year 1950 - 1958

* Mileage Low mileage

* Engine Eight Cylinder (V-1 position)
Manual overdrive
Cam shaft in excellent condition
Well lubed
Triple exhaust (all three functional)
Very low noise
Quick acceleration (Zero to Sixty Nine in <8 sec.)
A lot of horse power (must feel it)
Repeating pistons
Built in fuel injection
No exhaust fumes or smoke

* Transmission Manual

* Stick Shift 5 on the floor;
Fun in 1st, sensual in 2nd, titillating in 3rd,
fabulous in 4th, and fucking good in 5th.
Revs in reverse and performs in Park
Over-drive required
Ease of use of the stick shift is a plus

* Shocks Smooth ride and heavy duty suspension

* Brakes Front - Disk, Rear - Cylinder
(no leaks in the system and enough fluids)

* Steering Power steering
Easy to handle
Endurance tested
Cruise control

* Radiator No boiling
Quick warm up and cool down and good for long trips

* Body Extremely hard glossy finish
Well constructed
Power locks
Long body
Good breather
Safety inspected
No Dents/Excellent Condition (well kept)
Colour - any
Detailing - as needed but not over-done
Blinking lights - any colour
Weight - 140 - 210 lbs
Pleasant Grill
Easily Convertible - Removable cover at will
Comfortable Driver Seat
Front and Back Double Soft-Cushion(TM) suspension
Slim but adequate tires
Absolutely no rust (must be checked/certified by me)
Clean engine (should be able to eat it)

* Driving Has a good hard drive
Evokes a great deal of pleasure

* Cost Less than the Bill of rights

** EFI =Easy Front Interface

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