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Doing business on the opposite coast

mike@digex.UUCP (Mike Doughney)
Digital Express Public Access Unix, DC/Baltimore

[Found in an East Coast office of a major computer manufacturer.]

Here's a handy guide for those of you who have to deal with vendors, customers, or other divisions on the left coast.

East Coast                     West Coast 

absolutely not maybe yes maybe action item by Feb 12 for Joe Joe's working on the problem bozo subcontractor brawl design review dictator facilitator do it and do it now can you sign up for this program? do it right or you're fired I'm confident you'll get it done fuck off trust me follow the spec is there a spec? get out of my office let's get consensus on this one he's a jerk he's not signed on to our plan he's a subordinate he's a team player I'll cover your ass consider me your resource ignore him, he's new I'm bringing him up to speed local bar offsite facility meet me in the parking lot let's take that discussion offline oh shit thanks for bringing that to my attention overdesigned robust punch his lights out constructive confrontation shut the fuck up thank you for your input shut up a minute let me share this with you that's totally incompetent let me build on that point unemployed consulting over budget on schedule under budget we haven't started yet we finished early (no translation available) we're done how do you feel about that? what's your problem? I certainly understand your feelings where's the spec? what's a spec? where's the schedule? what's the game plan? your plan sucks let me share my feelings on this plan

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