Best of Jokes Current Jokes RHF Home Search Sponsor RHF?
Fun Stuff & Jokes
Previous | RHF Joke Archives | Next

Retirement schedule

cml@cs.umd.edu (Christopher Lott)
(offense=women, smirk, age stereotypes)

origin of this is unknown to me.  found it on my parent's fridge.

RETIREMENT SCHEDULE 

7:00 am - Wake up and laugh at silent alarm clock, which has been turned
		off the night before.
7:00 to 7:01 - Brisk calisthenics, lying in bed.
7:01 to 9:00 - Go back to sleep.
9:00 to 10:00 - Breakfast:  bourbon, toast, bacon, eggs, coffee
10:00 to 11:00 - Give wife orders of the day and point out her errors
		of the day before.
11:00 to 11:15 - Coffee and bourbon break, spent resting on the sofa
11:15 to 12:15 - Front porch rocking chair session.  make plans on how
		to spend tomorrow in a constructive way.
12:15 to 12:30 - Highball with next-door neighbor.
12:30 to 1:30 - Lunch:  beer, beef sandwich, apple pie, and cheese.
1:30 to 1:35 - Read good book to improve mind.
1:35 to 3:00 - Nap on sofa
3:00 to 3:15 - Coffee and bourbon break 
3:15 to 4:45 - Back porch rocking chair session to get benefit of afternoon
		sun.  Review morning's plans for tomorrow; decide tomorrow
		is a bad day to start any new projects.
4:45 to 5:00 - Inspect vegetable garden; point out to wife areas where she
		should do more hoeing.
5:00 to 8:30 - Cocktail hour.
8:30 to 9:30 - Dinner:  wine, sirloin steak, salad, mashed potatoes and gravy,
	ice cream.
9:30 to 11:59 - Discuss with wife why world is going to pot; lay out her
		schedule for the next day.
11:50 to 12:00 - Write postcard to boss saying how much you miss the old
		gang and how you are champing at the bit to get back.
12:00 to 12:01 - Go to bed with second book of the day to improve mind.
12:01 - Throw book out window and fall asleep.


----
Christopher Lott \/ Dept of Comp Sci, Univ of Maryland, College Park, MD 20742

(From the "Rest" of RHF)


Previous | RHF Joke Archives | Next

Best of Jokes | Current Jokes | RHF Home | Search

Get The Internet Jokebook
Featuring the very best of netfunny.com on dead trees.