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Those wacky weapon names

griffith@dweeb.fx.com (Jim)
(topical, original, smirk)

This idea was proposed by Cathy Foderaro (chf@Franz.COM), and it's been elaborated on since the original proposal.

Y'know how the planes involved in the gulf war have nicknames (the best of which is the "Wild Weasel")? Several of us were speculating about David Letterman's Top Ten Rejected Airplane Nicknames. In no particular order, we've come up with

10) the B-3 Near-sighted Sissyboy dive bomber

9) the SW252 Tree Sloth Sidewinder missile

8) the F-112 Fluffy Poodle vertical take-off jet

7) the M-113 Roadkill armored personnel carrier

6) the F-117B Capybara Stealth fighter

5) the AK39 Turbo Q-Tip attack plane

4) the F-21 Emu jet fighter

3) the f-14 Nose-hair torpedo

2) the B-6 Rod McKuen Sonnet carrier bomber

And the number one answer...

1) the A-14 Screamin' Yugo recon-jet

Of course, the topic opens up a whole new realm of punning...


the TomCruise Missile
the SideSwiper Missile (guaranteed to never directly impact the target)
the Disintegrates Upon Dispatch or DUD missile
the new scuds on the block
the Ernest and Julio Gallo delayed detonation missile
(will not explode before its time)

But none of this can really match the humor inherent in the name "Wolf Blitzer"...


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