Top 10 disqualifiers for consideration of relational status:
10. Uses "party" as a verb.
9. Knows all the words to "Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw?"
8. Considers "Whooooo!" a valid form of expressing approval
7. Thinks "quark plasma" is a party drink
6. Hair mass > brain mass
5. Thinks "electron transfer" is a new dance step popularized by the New Kids on the Block
4. Thinks Dr. Spock has cute pointy ears
3. Has accepted more drinks than IQ, and still isn't drunk
2. Isn't expecting to go home tonight, but is hoping for a ride in the morning
1. Needs pronunciation guide to read the television listings