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Look & Feel joke (SAMUEL GOLDSTEIN)
(computer, smirk, swearing)

                            LAWSUITS THREATEN INDUSTRY

	In a new twist to the computer industry's running "Look and Feel" 
patent battles, lawyers for Dr. Upda Evidens have filed suit against 98% 
of the computer industry.  Dr. Evidens, CEO of the Closed Software 
Corporation, asserted in court that "this is just the beginning. We are not 
going to tolerate any further abuse of our patents, which, I might add, are 
as rampant as they are blatant."

	The briefs filed in the case indicate that up to 70% of all computer 
industry professionals infringed upon CSC's patented "like shit" look and
feel.  Dr. Evidens cited studies showing that on any average Monday, sixty 
to seventy percent of all programmers are reported to "look and feel like 

	The Closed Software Corporation also notes excessive unlicensed use 
of other patented Look and Feel combinations, top among them "like hell,"
"awful," and "totally gnarly."

	Despite the fact that the CSC lawsuits are some of the largest and most 
comprehensive in the history of the computer industry, Evidens speaks of 
widening the scope of the litigation. "You see," he said at a press 
conference recently, "these violations are not limited to the information 
industry. I regularly see individuals in the banking industry, insurance, 
government, and yes, even the media, in unlicensed use of various patents that
we hold." When asked about his goals in filing further lawsuits, Evidens 
merely smiled, and offered a flash demonstration of two of the more recent CSC
patents, "filthy rich," and "powerful."

	Industry analysts are watching Dr. Evidens and his lawyers closely, 
(and, according to Evidens, are coming arbitrarily close to violating 
another patent, the "nervous" look and feel) to see the results of this 
case, and to find how it will affect future developments.

DISCLAIMER: This is all fluff, purely the results of a deranged imagination. 
            All individuals, corporations, and other entities mentioned above
            are purely fictional, and should not be construed.

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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