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Rules for Starfleet programmers

wagner@utoday.UUCP (Mitch Wagner)
(computer, funny)

From the Star Fleet Programmer's Style Guide:

(1) If your robot is programmed to destroy all imperfection, make sure it
excludes itself (the "Nomad" rule).

(2) Never allow calculation of the exact value of pi.

(3) Be sure your machines are programmed to ignore Three Stooges routines
(This is known as Harry Mudd's Law).

(4) Self-destruct routines are never carried through, so there is no need
to program them as anything more than a cosmetic shell. But be sure the 
countdown always runs past 1, to the last millisecond before the ship 
blows up, for dramatic values.

(5) Include standard protections against viruses, trojans, worms, and 
the ghosts of 19th-Century serial killers.

(6) Women programmers are not allowed, as they always program the computer
to giggle and call the captain, "Honey." We have enough virility problems
because they make us wear tights and those silly boots and velour shirts.
We don't need this shit, too.

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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