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Summer courses for summmer people (David Lowry)
(original, smirk)

Modern Summer Courses for YOUR lifestyle.

Copyright (c) 1990 David Lowry (Reproduced with permission)

12.95  Mugging for fun and profit

   The rush of people to the ancient and respected field of Mugging is
on!  Learn how you can switch to a new form of employment where hard
work and interpersonal skills can earn you large sums of money and
respect.  Meet new people and work outdoors.  Instructor has several
year experience as a charity fund raiser.

Prof. N. Anderthal

666  Divine Comedy

   Is God a klutz?  Are floods, plagues and earthquakes part of His
divine scheme, or is He just plain clumsy?  This course will examine
biblical and modern history from a new angle.

Prof. Neizche

00000  Smattering

   What makes a lively party guest?  It is that topical knowledge of
everything.  This course will superficially cover topics from politics,
language, current events, famous authors and sports.  Learn how to feign
deep knowledge about any subject.

Prof. Qualye

12341234 The Invisible Jogger

   Everyone is into jogging, yet you never see them out there.  This
course lets you in on the secret: nobody really does it!  You'll learn
how to buy jogging suits and shoes, and where to leave them lying
around.  Colorful terms and expressions you can mix into your
conversation will be covered.  Advanced techniques of running off and
sitting in a bar for 45 minutes will be taught.  The course completes
with the students "running" a 10K road race.

Prof. J. Strap

1968-74  Basic Republican

   Learn the basics of what it takes to join the fraternal organization
of good 'ol boys.  Proper modes of dress, desired opinions, and a firm
handshake can open doors to you.  This course will overview the
requirements including doctoring your heritage, getting into the right
clubs, when to use a sand wedge, and how to mix a martini.  Course not
recommended for minorities or poor people.

Prof.  Wentworth IV

1980-92  Advanced Republican

    This course meets every Saturday afternoon at The Club.  Everything
from networking to dice poker will be discussed.  Loose change and
an open tab at the bar required.

Prof.  Livingwell

696969  The Naughty Bard

   If Shakespeare was a TV writer, the censors would cut him to shreds.
This course will examine the dirty parts of Shakespeare's plays and
sonnets.  Find out why your high school english class didn't read The
Merry Wives of Windsor!

Prof. Randy

90->93->1A  How to drive in Boston

   Driving in the Hub has become an art form.  Learn what it takes to
express yourself in your quest to arrive on time and in one piece.  Find
out how to intimidate people with new cars and to spot and exploit
out-of-towners.  Observe how one-way streets don't have to be.  Learn
how to tailgate ambulances.  Instructor has spent several years piloting
a taxi.

Prof. Manslaughter

10-2  The Soap Opera

   Long ignored as an art form, the Soap Opera is gaining respect.  Study
the deep symbolism and rhetoric of the Daily Dramas.  The Opera as a
satire on American existance and statement will be covered.  Also
discussions will be conducted on who really got Crystal pregnant and why
Laura is such a slut.

Prof.  Fairchild

3.14159  Be a Nerd

   Nerds make lots of money, are up on all the latest technology, and
know all the Star Trek episodes by heart.  This course will examine
these happy people and find wisdom in their lifestyle.  Labs will be
held on how to ignore personal hygiene, clothes selection and the
opposite sex in the quest of technical knowledge.  Course open to males
and females alike.

Prof Cosine

300AD  Roman Life

   During the time of the Roman Empire was the time for Real Men.
Gladiator fights, steam baths and sports were the orders for the day.
This course will examine through readings, films and acting skits what
is was like to Walk Tall like a Man in those macho, lusty times.

Prof.  Pederast

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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