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Green toast (Jonathan R. Partington)

 These days one cannot open a newspaper without reading of the
danger of flouro-carbons: I used to think it was because the
articles were written by illiterate weasels who couldn't spell
"fluorine" but there really can't be that many illiterate people
around, so I decided to find out exactly what flouro-carbons

 Well, they turn out to be a mixture of flour and carbon, and are
chiefly found in burnt toast. (The little black bits in wholemeal
bread aren't actually charcoal or rabbit droppings, they just
taste like it.)

 This of course explains the fuss about King Alfred burning the
cakes. I mean, nobody expects a king to be a champion chef: come
to think of it, nobody expects anyone called Baker to be much of
a politician. It was the fact that he was releasing these
dangerous flouro-carbons that caused all the fuss. Kings are
supposed to be green (William Rufus was red, and look what
happened to him).

 Anyway we tried an experiment. On this diagram the red car is
runs entirely on burnt toast; the blue car runs on an
ecologically unsound mixture of hair spray, whale meat and leaded
fuel; and the green car is pedalled by the little man inside.
Well that was fun wasn't it. Sometime we'll do another

 Anyway folks. Protect the environment. Burnt toast is a killer.
Eat only Globsquirtle (TM) green fireproofed toast!

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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