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[Ed: I swore no more of these, but this one is by an expert, it claims.]

I sent the "Shit Happens in Various Religions" to my friend John Stark, who happens to have a PhD in Religious Studies. A week later he sent me his revised version, which is pretty serious, but also pretty funny.

TAOISM: Shit Happens, so flow with it.

CONFUCIANISM: Confucius says, "If shit has to happen, let it happen properly.

BUDDHISM: If shit happens, it isn't really happening to anyone.

HINDUISM: This shit happening is you.

PROTESTANTISM: If shit happens, praise the Lord for it!

JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen just before closing the deal?

ISLAM: Shit happening is Allah's Will.

EXISTENTIALISM: Shit happening is absurd!

ZEN: What is the sound of shit happening?

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