MEMORANDUM TO: ALL PERSONNEL SUBJECT: NEW RETIREMENT POLICY As a result of the reduction in money budgeting for division purposes, we are working to cut down our number of personnel. Under the plan, older employees will go on early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future plans. Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year via early retirement will be placed into effect immediately. The program shall be known as RAPE (Retired Aged Personnel - Early). Employees who are RAPEd will be given the opportunity to seek other jobs within the corporation, provided that while they are being RAPEd, they request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This phase of the operation is called SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All employees who have been RAPED or SCREWED may also apply for a trial review, called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination). Program policy dictates employees may be RAPED once and SCREWED twice, but may get the SHAFT as many times as the company deems appropriate. THE MANAGEMENT
(From the "Rest" of RHF)
The Internet Jokebook|
Featuring the very best of netfunny.com on dead trees.