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Most Embarrassing Moment

jay@banzai.UUCP (Jay Schuster)
(sex (homosexual), chuckle, true, rot13)

An incredibly hilarious, unbelievably true Seattle story:

My friend Tom, who constantly tries to live a sane rational
existence, but always blows it, lives in Seattle.  One Monday
night he was at some bar, cruising some guy (whom I will call
Trick, because I forgot his name).  After enough glances had
been exchanged they got to talking and in the end went home
together.  They headed off to Trick's apartment, which was
somewhere off in Capitol Hill (also known as the swish alps).
It was one of those old, decaying, converted-to-apartment
buildings that you find in every city.

Upon arriving in Trick's bedroom, they realized that the walls
in this building were just a bit thin, as through the bedroom
wall they could hear the neighbor watching Monday Night
Football.  To be polite (for once), they had the good sense
to pull the bed away from the wall, so they wouldn't disturb
the neighbor.

They strip, hop in the sack, and go at it.  Tom likes to play
a little rough, and he had his rope with him (thoughtful boy),
so he had tied Trick's arms to the headboard of the bed and
tied himself to Trick.  They are going at it, and as things
get more involved, Tom stands up on the bed, lifting Trick
up, so that Trick is being supported by his arms tied to the
headboard, Tom's arms, and whatever of him is tied to Tom.

Suddenly, a loud screeching sound, as of nails pulling out of
wood, fills the room.  The headboard of the bed falls off the
bed, against, and through the wall, into the neighbor's living
room, where he is, indeed, watching Monday Night Football.
Since Trick is tied to the headboard, and Tom is tied to Trick,
they both go tumbling, buck naked, in after it.

Plaster dust settles down around them as Tom frantically tries
to untie all the knots so he can get himself and Trick covered.
Tom is thinking to himself that he now knows that it is not
impossible to die of embarrassment, as he would have done so
then and there.  The neighbor, keeping his sense of humor
about the whole situation (turns out he was a semipunk and
his girlfriend was in the kitchen), looks at them and says
``I don't know whether that was a touchdown or offsides.''

Anyway, the landlord was there within five minutes.  The wall
has been fixed, and Tom and Trick had a couple more trysts.
The people in the building refer to them as ``the hole in the
wall gang.''


This is NOT an urban legend.  It is a true story; the man it
is about is an old college buddy of mine, a man I love dearly.
You should repeat this story to as many people as you can, as
often as you can.  People have come up to him, and told him
the whole story, not knowing that he was involved.
Jay Schuster
The People's Computer Company

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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