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cplai@daisy.UUCP (Chung-Pang Lai)
(sexual, smirk)

Once upon a time, there was a village.

The people in the village were extremely conservative. No one talked about sex. Newlyweds had to figure out how to do such business on their own because no one ever talked about it in their lifetime.

A mischievous couple decided to pull a practical joke on a pair of people getting married.

The man pulled the groom-to-be aside and talked to him privately: "I know it is not appropriate to talk to you about sex life. But you are getting married soon, I don't want you to get hurt."

"What is it? What is it? Let me know," the ignorant groom eagerly asked.

The man first told him what sex was all about. And he said, "But you have to be careful. Some women grow teeth in their `private place.' Some poor men have lost their valuable body part to these ruthless jaws."

"How should I find out? What should I do on the first night?"

"Fear not, young man. Let me tell you what to do. Don't take any risks. On the first night, test her first with your knee."

The woman also talked to the bride-to-be in private: "You are getting married soon. I cannot resist warning you..."

The bride also eagerly asked for advice.

The woman first explained to her what would happen in bed the first night, then she said, "Some men have a HUGE life-threatening penis. If you have sex with this type of man, you may not survive."

"Oh, please help me. What should I do?" The bride was scared.

"Well, let me tell you what I did on my first night," she lied. "I sharpened my finger nails and put my hand in front of my vulnerable spot, and grabbed anything that approached."

In the wedding night, the shy newlywed slipped into bed in pitch darkness. Moments later, both screamed in horror.

... And they slept separately ever after.

[Ed: Are teeth-in-vagina jokes becoming a new genre? I rejected several of them, but I thought I would try this. Don't send me yours.]

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