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Collection of new benchmark names

rob@amber.UUCP (Rob Adams x5527)
Interleaf, Inc., Cambridge, MA
(original collection, smirk)

Alan Lovejoy ( wrote: It seems that *-h-*-stone has become a standard infix/prefix for naming computer benchmarks. It might be interesting to collect a list of all the benchmarks whose names have this form, and to entertain suggestions for new, perhaps whimsical, benchmark names that would use this infix/prefix.

Stoned Benchmarks:

Whetstone (floating-point)
Dhrystone (integer)
Dhampstone (integer and floating-point)
Rhealstone (real-time/tasking)
"IO-stone" (there is an IO benchmark that uses -stone, but I forget its name)

Suggestions for Stoned Benchmarks:

An animation benchmark might be called the "Flhintstone" :-).

To which many others responded:

RhollingStone |For benchmarking sound generation systems
Sahndstone |For benchmarking silicon (get it, sand) chips
Soahpstone |For measuring daytime cable tv usage
Flahgstone |For benchmarking boolean operations
WhatStone? |For statistical verification of psuedo random
|number generators
Rhosettastone |Natural language translation benchmark
Whystone |Asks the computer why bother a whole
|bunch of times
Wherestone |I dunno, turns the computer into a hairy stone
|if the moon is full? (groan)
Captain Blighstone |Does some sort of micro-mutiny
Sighstone |Relates performance time to how bored the
|operator is with doing benchmarks
Chrystone (crystone) |The operator is thoroughly bored now
Sthystones (Stystnes) |Show operator how messy insides of computer
|is in relation to its speed
Ehverybodymustgetstone |Tests the degree of nondeterminism in an
|instruction set
BhlarneyStone |For Benchmarking Vaporware!
Lhoadstone |Benchmark that is a lhoad of <insert favorite
|expletive here>
Firestone |Where your mileage may vary :-)
Khidneystone |Medical expert systems benchmark
Gallstone |For evaluating medical diagnostic expert systems
Yhellowstone |Simulates a "let-it-burn" policy on your
|computer's memory
Lhivingstone |Benchmark for anthropology in Africa
Hheadstone |Benchmarking of defunct processes.
Shlyandthefamilystone |Measures how "funky" your system is
WhatStone? |The benchmark for voice recognition systems :)!
Cherrystone |The number of novice roots users a machine can survive
BhlackStone |Used to benchmark magic tricks
Schissorspaperstone |A series of benchmarks that can be used to
|prove any machine architecture superior
|to any other
Mhilestone |How many design revisions, i.e. laps around the
|engineering department before the project collapses.
|[ ... or is that millstone ?]
GhallStones |Measures audacity of claims by system engineers
|or administrators or used-car salesmen
KhidneyStones |Measures rate at which you get pissed off by
|vendors or administrators or used-car salesmen
|(right now running at about 7 KS)
Shandstone |A benchmark of the raw electrical performance
|of the silicon used in the processor chips
Stihcks&stone |Benchmarks the number of bad things you can say
|about the operating system per second
Ehstone |How many Canadians, like, worked on the system, eh?
Thunderstone |Measures floating-point speed by simulation of
|falling meteors
Touchstone |Resolution test for touch/screen sensors
Standingstone |Benchmark by iterated astronomical calculations.
|Phase-of-moon dependent. Requires operator to
|wear animal skins.
Lhimestone |Extent to which purchase of system leaves sour taste
|in customer's mouth
Shoapstone |Measures how clean design is
Bhlarneystone |Rigorous test of Irish computing systems
Bhlackstone |Checks magic numbers of files
Ghallstone |Rigorous test of medical systems
Hharrystone |Tests whether an input voice pattern is Mel Torme's
Swhordinthestone |Finds the Once and Future computer architecture
Rhhinestone |Tests for cheap flashy computer architectures
Stonestone |Relative merit of smoke

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