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Just Say No

bob@inmet.UUCP (Bob Jordan)
Intermetrics, Cambridge, MA
(true, smirk)

This was told to me about three years ago by a friend who claims he works with the father of the "hero" of the story:

During Christmas break from college, the kid wanted to borrow his father's car to drive to a New Year's Eve party at his fraternity house. He lived in Massachusetts and the fraternity house was in Vermont. The father needed the car New Year's Day, and was concerned about the son hitting one of the roadblocks that police set up all over the place on New Year's Eve. The agreement that was reached was that the son would be allowed to use the car, but he would not drink at all. That was, of course, a big mistake on the part of the father, especially since the kid wasn't 21.

So he drove to Vermont, got completely trashed, and attempted to drive home. Just before he reached Massachusetts he hit a roadblock. There were a few other cars stopped already, so he was told to get out of the car and stand in a line of people that were being administered the infamous sobriety test. Somehow the policeman skipped him, and he was left standing off to the side while the people behind him were showing the police officer how well they could touch their finger to their nose, walk a straight line, etc.

At 7:00 AM his father got up to answer the doorbell. There were two state troopers there; one from Vermont and one from Massachusetts. They immediately asked him if he was the owner of <description of car>. He replied, "Yes, I am." One of the policeman asked him if he was driving the car the previous evening, and he said that his son had been the driver. The police officer asked to speak to his son.

When the kid found himself in front of the two state troopers, he knew he was in some sort of trouble. But he also realized that his blood alcohol level had come down considerably, and that he would pass any test they might give him. So upon questioning, he admitted that he was driving the car, that he had been in Vermont, but when asked if he had been drinking he said, "No!" When the policemen asked if they could see his car, the kid was unable to remember the drive, and was worried that he may have hit something or someone. He said that the car was out back under the car port.

And when the four of them walked out to look at the car, instead of looking at the car he had driven the night before, there was a Vermont State Police cruiser parked there.

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