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Collection of Olympic and Ben Johnson Jokes

funny@looking.UUCP (Funny Guy)
(some original, doubt it, smirk, chuckle, topical)

[Ed: Here is a collection of jokes surrounding the games of the 24th Olympiad. They vary in quality quite a bit. One is racist. ]

watmath!uunet!!!bulko (Bill Bulko)

Ben Johnson swears it was just his birth control pills.

grant@looking.UUCP (Grant Robinson)

RACIST (rot13)

Jung qvq Ora Wbuafba fnl nsgre orvat npphfrq bs gnxvat fgrebvqf.

"Fgrerb? Url, zba, V qvqa'g gnxr ab fgrerb."

From a cartoon in the Globe and Mail:

Headline 1: "Canadian Sprinter Wins Gold in 100 Metres!"

Headline 2: "Jamaican-Canadian Athlete Tests Positive for Steroids!"

Headline 3: "Jamaican Athlete Stripped of Gold Medal."

watmath!uunet!ogccse!schaefer (Barton E. Schaefer)

One of the NBC Olympic sportscasters (Bob Costus?), describing Florence Griffith Joyner:

This is the fastest woman on Earth--and in the context of the Olympics, that's a compliment.

Dave Kinchlea <watmath!julian!!36_5130>

Q. What do hurricanes and steriods have in common?

A. They both make Jamaicans run like hell!


UCLA Computer Science Department

IOC official to Ben Johnson: "I have some good news and some bad news. First, the bad news. You've tested positive for steroids, so we've stripped you of your gold medal, banned you from competition for two years, and you'll probably live out the balance of your life in shame and poverty."

Ben Johnson: "My God! Well, what's the good news?"

IOC official: "At least you don't play for John Thompson."

-- Scott Turner

For the uninformed, John Thompson was coach of the U.S. Olympic Basketball team, which lost to the Soviets. Americans seem quite ashamed at this, although I don't know why because they lost to the soviets in many other sports they expect to excell at.

The Birth Control Pill joke refers to Angel Myers, a U.S. Olympic Athlete who was barred from the games by the USOC due to a positive steroid test. She claimed that it was her birth control pills, which contain some steriods.

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