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Draft Dodger Rag [for Danforth Quayle]

tut@Sun.COM (Bill "Bill" Tuthill)
(original, maybe, topical)

		Draft Dodger Rag

		  by Phil Ochs		[annotated for Danforth Quayle]

Oh I am just a typical American boy	[with a filthy rich grandpa]
from a typical American town		[where my daddy runs the newspaper]
I believe in God and Senator Dodd
and keeping old Castro down.		[not to mention Daniel Ortega]
And when it came my time to serve
I knew better dead than red,		[or is it better red than dead?]
but when I got to my old draft board,
buddy this is what I said.		[for I was already in the Nat'l Guard]

Sarge I'm only 18, I got a ruptured spleen	[my father made a few calls]
and I always carry a purse;
I got eyes like a bat and my feet are flat	[friends made some more calls]
and my asthma's getting worse.
Yes think of my career and my sweetheart dear	[America needs more lawyers!]
and my poor old invalid aunt;
besides I ain't no fool I'm going to school	[Even as a teenager I loved the
and I'm working in a defense plant.		 military-industrial complex]

I got a dislocated disk & a racked up back	[My daddy made me carry the
I'm allergic to flowers and bugs;		 entire circulation one day]
when the bombshell hits I get epileptic fits
and I'm addicted to a thousand drugs.		[the Dukakis campaign knows
I got the weakness woes I can't touch my toes	 I smoked pot in law school]
I can hardly reach my knees;
and if the enemy came close to me		[I've always been allergic
I'd probably start to sneeze.			 to slanteye communists]

I hate Chou Enlai and I hope he dies,		[now I love Deng Xioping]
but one thing you gotta see:
that someone's gotta go over there		[why can't the poor go fight?]
and that someone isn't me.			[you bet-- my daddy's rich]
So I wish you well, Sarge give 'em hell,
kill me a thousand or so;			[torture a few Nicaraguans too]
if you ever get a war without blood and gore
I'll be the first to go.			[that's why I support SDI!]

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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