After about his seventh or eighth drink, the bum looks up from his glass on the bar and sees a horse standing next to him. This would have struck him as odd, save for the fact that he was too drunk to notice anything out of the ordinary. "Hey," he said to the bartender, "There's a horse standing next to me."
"I know," replied the bartender, wiping a glass. "That horse comes in here all the time--and you know, once, just once, I'd like to see him show some kind of expression. He must be part Vulcan or something."
The bum looked at the horse's face. A better poker player could not exist on this Earth. "Uh huh."
"Tell ya what," the bartender suggested; "I'll give you a free round of drinks if you can make him laugh."
The bum thought for a second or two, then said, "Sure." He took the horse by the reins and led him into the men's bathroom. A moment later, he and the horse came out again, and the horse was laughing uproariously. Stunned, the bartender poured the bum's free round of drinks without taking his eyes off the animal.
"That was AMAZING!" he told the bum as he finished off his last drink. "I'll give you another free round of drinks if you can make him cry!"
Smiling, the bum said, "All right," and once again led the horse into the men's room. When they came out a minute later, the horse was wallowing in tears. Shaking his head and rubbing his disbelieving eyes, the bartender poured the bum his second round of drinks.
"You've gotta tell me," he said as the bum finished his first new glass, "HOW on EARTH did you get that horse to laugh and cry?"
"Well," said the bum, clearing his throat with pride, "First I told him that my dick was longer than his, and then I proved it."
The Internet Jokebook|
Featuring the very best of netfunny.com on dead trees.