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Classifications of News readers

geoff@ism780c.UUCP (Geoff Kimbrough)
INTERACTIVE Systems Corporation, Santa Monica, California

How to Identify News Readers


- Thinks rn is a typo. - Posts empty articles. - Wonders what `@' means. - Accidently sends (empty) mail messages to other readers.


- Knows how to read news, but seldom does, since s/he hasn't learned how to (un)subscribe to a subject. - Posts the programmer-lightbulb joke to soc.women. - Tries to post his/her KILL files. - Posts articles asking what `:-)' means, and misspells it. - Wonders why people go to all the trouble of typing in other people's articles with all those silly ">"s.


- Knows how to post followups, but uses ed to do so. - Posts articles asking what `SO', `BTW', and `MOTOS' mean. - Has heard of KILL files, but doesn't know what they are. - Has worn out the `n' key. - Still reads rec.humor


- Knows about .signature files, but sometimes includes them twice. - Posts flames to net.announce.newusers. - Uses KILL files, but only on "Subject:" lines. - Has learned to edit the "followups to:" line. - Can save a rot13'd joke, and read it later.


- Knows how to post anonymously, from nonexistent sites. - Posts flames about users of "notes." - Has 0.1 megabytes of KILL files, and 5 megabytes of mail. - Is known by name at virtually all news sites. - Knows how to post rot13'd jokes, and can read them without saving and exiting.


- Knows how to create new newsgroups. - Has modified local version of vnews to allow longer postings. - Uses rmgroup instead of KILL files. - Knows how to send mail through the ARPANET. - Can read rot13'd text without unrotating it.


- Has private database of alternate paths to all sites. - Has caused at least one newsgroup to be eliminated due to low signal/noise. - Name appears in over 1000 KILL files (at other sites). - Uses undocumented features of rn. - Moderates at least one newsgroup.


- Thinks rn is a typo.

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