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Top Ten New York City Pedestrian Tips

rossow@umn-cs.UUCP (Michael Rossow)

The Place:  Late Night with David Letterman.  Broadcast
Wednesday November 4th, 1987.

The Scene:  It is 5:30 in the evening on a weekday.  David
Letterman is hanging out of a window of the NBC building in
New York City with a bullhorn.  He is calling down to the
pedestrians below on the sidewalk in front of Radio City
Music Hall.  He has attracted quite a crowd.

    "Attention people of New York City...  Attention
    citizens of New York City...  My name is Robert C.
    Wright.  I am the president of NBC.  The most
    powerful television network in the world.  I'm not
    wearing pants.  I am not wearing pants.  You
    people go home.  The christmas tree is not up yet.
    Go back to Long Island.  We don't want you here."

David then reads the evening's Top Ten list to the
crowd below:

Top Ten New York City Pedestrian Tips

1.  If it doesn't smell like chilli, it probably

2.  If you catch an exploding manhole cover, you can
    keep it.

3.  Cabs driving on the sidewalk are not permitted
    to pick up passengers.

4.  It's bad manners to lie down inside someone
    else's chalk body outline.

5.  Don't lick food from a stranger's beard.

6.  Avoid paperwork for your next of kin by keeping
    dental records on you.

7.  Jon Gotti Always has the right of way.

8.  Yelling at cab drivers in english wastes your
    time and theirs.

9.  Remember:  Regular hot dogs do not have

10. The city does not employ so called 'Wallet

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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