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Love Client #9
(Sung to the tune of Love Potion #9)

I took my troubles down to Washington
You know that town where you can pay for fun
The Emperors Club made a mighty fine dime
Sellin' little Kristen to
Love Client Number Nine

I told her that I was a flop with chicks
I'd been this way since my election was fixed
She looked at my cash, the receipt she did sign
She said, "Let me call you
Love Client Number Nine"

She bent down and turned around and gave me a wink
She said, "We're gonna do it right here on the sink"
But let us first get loose with a very stiff drink
I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I didn't think

I didn't know if it was day or night
The Feds were tapping every phone in sight
But when I kissed a call girl who made me pay for time
The FBI labeled me
Love Client Number Nine

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