| RHF Joke Archives |

(This was a reply to an internal memo at work, which included brief descriptions of events taking place nearby. One of these was "Disney's Princesses On Ice," and it drew the following reply.)

Mr. ---:

While your house reports are normally punctual, accurate, scintillating little things I must take umbrage with your house report of 16 November, where you refer to _Disney On Ice_ with the phrase "the magical goodness of Disney magic." I shall pass over the redundant nature of this phrasing in silence, but must point out that _Disney On Ice_ is hardly the "magical goodness" you speak of. It is a stinging horror. It is but one arm, one appendage, one fear-inducing tentacle of a multinational corporate Cthulhu plying upon the dreams and fears of innocent young minds for its own dark-green slimy profit. It is a terror incarnate, its "leader" a six-foot-tall grinning rat, its Cyclopean works luring thousands of innocent children to its cultlike "amusements" and its workers upon this Earth wearing oversized false heads - daunting animal-like masks! - to shield the eyes of the unsuspecting from the soulless horrors doubtless beneath. Even their nefarious founder - Walt, the true "Disney On Ice" - by his own hideous will has been encased in freezing, unending cold in hopes that future generations of his minions may someday reanimate him. There is no "magical goodness" here, Mr. ---. There is only a terror and a madness beyond human comprehension, reaching, reaching toward the living world, devouring reason, leaving only darkness and savage creeping terror in its wake.

...That said, you're right about _Mulan_.

| RHF Joke Archives |