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I called UPS about an insurance claim I had filed on a package. I knew the automated voice response system wouldn't be able to handle this issue so I immediately said, "customer service." It did a little beep-boop-bop computing noise, and then insisted that I first pick from its menu, none of which items bore any resemblance to insurance claims. I tried "track a package." It recited the status, followed by "Can I help you with anything else?" I said, more insistently, "customer service," at which it complained that that was the most recent shipping information. Exasperated--but a bit curious--I said, "Damn you," and after the little computing noise, it swiftly transferred me to customer service.

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