| RHF Joke Archives |

What follows are the latest entries in the one-liner file. These are jokes which are funny, but which didn't really warrant posting separately. I post such a digest whenever I have enough entries to warrant it. Particularly selective readers will probably not enjoy the digests, and may want to killfile RHF jokes with "Digest" in the title - ed.

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>From: runderhi@mail.sdsu.edu (Robert Underhill)
>Subject: rec.humor.funny

Re: >From: MScroggs@CCAD.ARMY.MIL (Scroggs Michael D)
>Subject: WALKING ON WATER

>On Ocean Drive in Corpus Christi, Texas, there is a sign on an intersection
>pole that states "TO CROSS OCEAN, PUSH BUTTON."

>And to think , all these years I've been wasting money on cruise ships!

On the I-5 in San Diego there's a sign "CRUISE SHIPS USE NEXT EXIT."

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>From: dallison@mindspring.com
>Subject: Dihydrogen monoxide

"It's embarrassing. We had a paralegal who did bad research."

-- Aliso Viejo City Manager David J. Norman explaining why the California city almost banned dihydrogen monoxide--H20--due to its perceived health risks.

http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/news/breaking_news/8185305.htm

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>From: carl_midson@msn.com (Biffom)
>Organization: http://groups.google.com
>Subject: Re: Sign of the Times

This is one for the British.

Seen on the door to a law firm in los Angeles - "No soliciting"

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>From: mkb@dirty.org (matt kane's brain)
>Subject: Yet Another Confusing Headline

Regarding the reporting on the resignation of newspaper tycoon Conrad Black:

"Associate of Black savages report, as media feeds on tycoon's fall"

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/afp_world_business/view/104450/1/.html

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>From: jhaungs@acm.org (Jim Haungs)
>Subject: "Hello" considered harmful

I received this email today from someone's anti-virus gateway:

Content violation found in email message.
Subject Line associated with a known virus.

>From: [redacted]
>To: [redacted]
>Subject: hi
>Matching Subject: hi

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>From: pallavi.ramam@gmail.com (Pallavi Ramam)
>Organization: http://groups.google.com
>Subject: Have no fear..

Sign seen on the tips jar at a fast food place in Beaverton, Oregon:

Afraid of change?
Leave it here.

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>From: kwuensch@cox.net (Karl L. Wuensch)
>Organization: Cox Communications
>Subject: Please have the sender resend the message.

>From the computer experts at our university following a failure of our email system. No advice was given regarding how to determine which emails were not received so that we could contact the senders and ask them to resend those emails.

Thank you,
Diane H. Roberson
ITCS Production Control Supervisor
Cotanche 121

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>From: holbrooka@charter.net (Alan Holbrook)
>Subject: Job I Don't Want

I'm currently job searching, and I get daily alerts from a number of the internet job boards. Now, the high tech job market isn't that great, and I hate to turn down any opportunity, but this is one I don't think I'll apply for. I can handle the "Quality Control Concepts" part. I have "proj leadership" and "tech skills." But I'm just not sure I'm interested in the other one.

Title: Project Manager
Skills: Qualtiy Control Concepts, proj leadership, anal and tech skills

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>From: slothkills@NOyahooSPAM.com (Scott en Aztlán)
>Organization: Posted via Supernews, http://www.supernews.com
>Subject: Flu Humor (Flumor?)

I love the KTLA Morning News!

The other morning, as part of the saturation coverage regarding the shortage of flu vaccine, Eric Spillman was asking some guy on the street where he got his flu shot. "In the butt" was the response.

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>From: kevwill@us.ibm.com (Kevin L Williams)
>Subject: New achievements in broadcasting

During Sunday night's broadcast of the Olympics, NBC's anchor, Bob Costas, alerted us to the network's upcoming "uninterrupted coverage of the Men's 100-meter dash final."

My wife thought that it was pretty generous of them to show us the entire 10-second race without a commercial. I really appreciated the warning so that I could take a bathroom break and freshen my beverage before settling in for the event.

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>From: felix@nice.ch (Felix Rauch)
>Subject: Intelligent mails

I just received a mail with the subject line: "[IEEE-TCSC] FW: failure notice"

The first line of the mail is: "FIFTH INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE ON INTELLIGENT SYSTEMS DESIGN AND APPLICATIONS"

I'd say there is still much work to do in that area.

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>From: aycock@cpsc.ucalgary.ca (John Aycock)
>Subject: big day for foxes...

The headlines on the CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) website today, right next to each other:

Britain bans fox hunt

CRTC approves Fox News for Canada

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