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Homeland Security (Steve Bilan)
(topical, smirk)

December 26, 2002

>From: Tom Ridge
Director of Homeland Security

>To: George J Tenet
Director of Central Intelligence

At 0010 eastern time yesterday, an unauthorized aircraft was detected entering restricted airspace over the Washington DC metro area. Intercept planes were immediately scrambled and the offending vehicle was brought down. We are currently analyzing the wreckage to determine the nature and origin of this intrusion.

The reason I bring this to your attention is that the Central Intelligence Agency has once again failed to provide useful warning about this incursion. We were required to rely on our own informant, codename Virginia, to find out who the pilot of the aircraft was. We are currently investigating this matter and would appreciate your help.

Unfortunately, we were not as successful in finding out who or what our informant's source is. Virginia would only repeat the name Daa-Dee, which must be a codename. Given the nature of the intrusion and secrecy maintained by it's members, we can only assume that this is the action of an al Qaeda cell. We are currently taking appropriate retaliatory steps.

Fortunately, the secret court was able to try our informant as an adult. This 12 year old has already been tried, sentenced and executed as a traitor of the homeland.

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