[Onscreen quote: "Dammit Jim: I'm a doctor, not a gourmet!" --Dr. Leonard McCoy]
Food! The final frontier!
These are the adventures of Kitchen Stadium; it's continuing mission: to create new dishes, to seek out new cuisines--to boldly go where no food has gone before!
[CUT TO: An empty Kitchen Stadium. As GEORDI LE FORGE delivers the voice-over, SHATNER is slowly beamed to the center of Kitchen Stadium, along with a yellow pepper.]
One thousand four hundred stardates ago, a man's fantasy became reality in a forum almost never seen before--a giant cooking arena: The Kitchen Stadium! The motivation for spending his fortune to create Kitchen Stadium was to encounter new original cuisines, which could be called true artistic creations.
To realize his dream, he first secretly started selecting the top chefs of various styles of cooking. And he named his men the Iron Chefs--the invincible men of culinary skill.
Iron Chef Federation is N'Butu Abele.
Iron Chef Vulcan is Setak.
Iron Chef Romulan is Tolamok.
And Kalous The Invincible is Iron Chef Klingon.
The Kitchen Stadium is the arena where Iron Chefs await the challenges of Master Chefs from around the galaxy. Both the Iron Chef and challenger have pi/100 stardates to tackle the theme ingredient of the day. Using all their senses, skills, and creativity (but not voice-activated food preparation units or mentalics directed at the judges), they're to prepare artistic dishes never tasted before.
And if ever a challenger wins over the Iron Chef, he or she or it will gain the universe's ovation and fame forever. (In addition, if the Iron Chef Klingon ever goes down, he will serve as the theme ingredient for the next battle.) Kitchen Stadium is the venue where you will meet the Master Chefs from around the galaxy and their artistic creations. What inspiration will today's challenger bring, and how will the Iron Chef fight back? The heat will be on!"
[Music flourish; commercial break. Cue special effects for the beaming in of the Iron Chefs.]
[Posted first in alt.tv.iron-chef, a few weeks after the announcement that Star Trek's Captain Kirk, William Shatner, would be the host of the Iron Chef Las Vegas Challenge to be taped in June and shown in August on UPN.]