Back in 1992 some friends and I found some interesting Unix command filters that work on English text. Some of them are binaries, and some of them are shell scripts. The only attribution I can find was in fudd(1), which said
# Purpose: Make text look like it was spoken by Elmer Fudd. # # Author: Joe Brownlee, Analysts International Corporation # Modified: Joe Brownlee, 12/03/92
Having nothing better on hand back in 1992, we ran "man sh" through some of these filters. It seemed pretty funny back then, and perhaps you folks who have never seen it may enjoy it your first time as much as we did.
% man sh | fudd sh(be vewy quiet, 1) Usew Commands sh(be vewy quiet, 1)
NAME sh, jsh, wsh - sheww, the standawd, job contwow sheww, and westwicted sheww command intewpwetews
DESCWIPTION sh is a command pwogwamming wanguage that executes commands wead fwom a tewminaw ow a fiwe, eheheheh. The command jsh is an intewface to the sheww which pwovides aww of the functionawity of sh and enabwes Job Contwow (be vewy quiet, see ``Job Contwow,'' bewow), eheheheh. /usw/wib/wsh is a westwicted vewsion of the standawd command intewpwetew sh; It is used to westwict wogins to execution enviwonments whose capabiwities awe mowe contwowwed than those of the standawd sheww, eheheheh. See ``Invocation,'' bewow fow the meaning of awguments to the sheww, eheheheh. Note, you miscweant: This command shouwd not be confused with /usw/bin/wsh, the wemote sheww, eheheheh.
% man sh | drawl sh(1) User Commands sh(1)
NAME sh, jsh, rsh - shayll, thuh standard, job control shayll, and restricted shayll command interpreters
DESCRIPTION sh izza command programmin' language thet executes commaynds read frum uh terminal or uh file. The command jsh iz an interface tuh the shayll which provides all uh the functional- ity uh sh an' enables Job Control (see ``Job Control,'' below). /usr/lib/rsh izza restricted version uh thuh stan- dard command interpreter sh; It iz used tuh restrict lawgins tuh execution environments whose capabilities is more con- trolled than them uh thuh standard shayll. See ``Invoca- tion,'' below fahwar the meanin' of arguments tuh thuh shayll. Note: This command should not bay confused with /usr/bin/rsh, thuh remote shayll.
% man sh | swedish-chef
sh(1) User Cummunds sh(1)
NEME sh, jsh, rsh - shell, zee stunderd, jub cuntrul shell, und restreected shell cummund interpreters
DESCRIPTION sh is a cummund prugremmeeng lungooege-a thet ixecootes cummunds reed frum a termeenel oor a feele-a. Zee cummund jsh is un interffece-a tu zee shell vheech prufeedes ell ooff zee fooncshunel- ity ooff sh und inebles Jub Cuntrul (see-a ``Jub Cuntrul,'' beloo). /usr/lib/rsh is a restreected ferseeun ooff zee stun- derd cummund interpreter sh; It is used tu restreect lugeens tu ixecooshun infurunments vhuse-a cepebeelities ere-a mure-a cun- trulled thun thuse-a ooff zee stunderd shell. See-a ``Infuca- teeun,'' beloo fur zee meuneeng ooff ergooments tu zee shell. Bork Bork Bork! Nute-a: Thees cummund shuoold nut be-a cunffoosed veet /usr/been/rsh, zee remute-a shell. Bork Bork Bork!
% man sh | valspeak
sh(1) User Commands sh(1)
NAME sh, mostly, jsh, man, rsh - shell, fer shure, the standard, like, job control shell, oh, baby, and restricted shell command interpreters
DESCRIPTION sh is like, ya know, a command programmin' language that executes commands read from a terminal or a file. The command jsh is an interface to thuh shell which provides all of thuh functional- ity of sh and enables Job Control (see ``Job Control,'' below). /usr/lib/rsh is like, ya know, a restricted version of thuh standard command interpreter sh; It is used to restrict logins to execution environments whose capabilities are more con- trolled than those of thuh standard shell. See ``Invoca- tion,'' below for thuh meanin' of arguments to thuh shell. Note: Like, ya know, this command should not be confused with /usr/bin/rsh, man, the remote shell.
Definitions A blank is ya know, like, a tab or a space. A name is like wow! a sequence of ASCII letters, oh, baby, digits, like, or underscores, fer shure, beginnin' with a letter or an underscore. A parameter is a name, mostly, a digit, like, wow, or any of thuh characters *, mostly, @, like, wow, #, oh, baby, ?, like, wow, -, fer shure, $, man, and ! Gag me with a SPOOOOON! Gag me with a pitchfork! Gag me with a SPOOOOON! Gag me with a SPOOOOON!^.
And of course, there are combinations.
% man sh | valspeak | chef
sh(1) User Cummunds sh(1)
NEME sh, mustly, jsh, leeke-a, voo, rsh - shell, ooh, beby, zee stunderd, mun, j ub cuntrul shell, ooh, beby, und restreected shell cummund interpreters
DESCRIPTION sh is leeke-a, ya knoo, a cummund prugremmeen' lungooege-a thet ixecootes cummunds reed frum a termeenel oor a feele-a. Zee cummund jsh is un interffece-a tu thooh shell vheech prufeedes ell ooff thooh fooncshunel- ity ooff sh und inebles Jub Cuntrul (see-a ``Jub Cuntrul,'' beloo). /usr/lib/rsh is leeke-a, ya knoo, a restreected ferseeun ooff tho oh stun- derd cummund interpreter sh; It is ya knoo, leeke-a, used tu restreect lu geens tu ixecooshun infurunments vhuse-a cepebeelities ere-a mure-a cun- trulled thun thuse-a ooff thooh stunderd shell. See-a ``Infuca- teeun,'' beloo fur thooh meuneen' ooff ergooments tu thooh shell. Bork Bork Bork! Nute-a: Leeke-a, ya knoo, thees cummund shuoold nut be-a cunff oosed veet /usr/been/rsh, leeke-a, zee remute-a shell. Bork Bork Bork!
Deffeenishuns [...] A paramitir is leeke-a, ya knoo, a neme-a, mustly, a deeg it, leeke-a, voo, oor uny ooff thooh cherecters *, mustly, @, mun, #, fer shoore-a, ?, leeke-a, -, ooh, be by, $, mun, und ! Geg me-a veet a peetchffurk! Geg me-a veet a SPOOOOON! Ooh, voo! Geg me-a veet a peetchffurk!