A set of the lesser jokes regarding the reaction to the L.A. Police Brutality verdict, and the riots and sending in of the troops (which I'm calling Operation Mojave Desert Storm.) Subject: Back to the grind, in L.A. From: email@example.com (Dan Pearl) The four L.A. policemen acquitted in the Rodney King brutality case were heard to remark that they are looking forward to "getting back to the beat". = = = = = = = Subject: Bush's plan to stop the LA riots From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Bruce Reynolds) The mayor of LA and the govenor of CA declared a state of emergency, and approached the federal government for assistance to control the rioting going on in south central LA over the Rodney King acquittal. President Bush has announced his plan to to stop the riots: he will immediately lower the capital gains tax. = = = = = = = Subject: LA After the Verdict From: email@example.com (Alan Clegg) Perhaps it is time to start the new news group: alt.tv.la-lawless original -abc = = = = = = = Subject: New Alarm System resubmittal (topical) From: WCOX@vax.clarku.edu (GRACE) Heard on WAAF radio in Boston. There's a new alarm system out for your car now. It's called "CLUB." It's real simple. If a burglar tries to steal your car, an alarm sounds, which summons 15 LAPD officers who CLUB the would-be burglar within an inch of their life. = = = = = = = Subject: Where there's smoke... From: Steven.Grimm@Eng.Sun.COM (Steven Grimm) (Keywords: original, topical, in bad taste) All the building fires in Los Angeles over the past two days have actually increased visibility by 50%... = = = = = = = Subject: treats you like an emperor From: Wing.Keung.F.Au@IUS5.IUS.CS.CMU.EDU purely fictitious, it came up last night while i was watching CNN. Chinese Prime Minister Li Peng at a press conference after the Rodney King trial verdict is out, said, "It is time to stop bitching our human rights records, otherwise, not only that we will 'treat you like a King,' our utmost generous government will 'treat you like an emperor,' the Tianmen style." He then left the podium, couldn't stop laughing as he walked out. hahahahah, = = = = = = = Subject: Looters on video From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Bryan Hoog) The news coverage of the massive L.A. looting was amazing to watch. Some of the looters slowed down to a walk in order to give on-the-spot interviews to reporters, whilst carefully juggling their ill-botten gooty. Meanwhile, all the police could do was watch from a distance. At this point, I was inspired to voice what has to be the stupidest thing I have ever said in my life: "They should have issued each cop a camcorder so that they could convict these criminals later!" = = = = = = = Subject: I have this sticker (maybe) From: email@example.com (John Jung) (I'd love to see this sticker) "My mom and dad looted during the L.A. Riots and all I got was this crummy VCR." John = = = = = = = Subject: Riot Humor --- TRUE STORY From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Melvin H. Nicholson YBH) I overhead this on Berkeley campus this past weekend. "I can't believe that the defense got away with calling King a bear. The system is so screwed up if they'll let a man be dehumanized like that." "Yeah, the pigs are just out of control." (sigh) = = = = = = = Subject: Cinco de Mayo in LA From: email@example.com The looting and rioting in LA over the weekend is likely to lower spirits among those celebrating Cinco de Mayo this tuesday. But at least they'll be well dressed. (Overheard while getting my hair cut) = = = = = = = Subject: Be careful what you ask for... From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Chris Phoenix) This is an original joke. I heard on the news that there were over 3400 fires started by the riots touched off by the Rodney King verdict. But I thought George Bush only wanted one thousand points of light! Chris Phoenix email@example.com = = = = = = = From: firstname.lastname@example.org (BILL TERWILLEGAR) Subject: NEW TRAVEL ADVISORY -- Los Angeles In the rec.travel newsgroup there are always these "advisories" for every country on earth for one reason or another. Anyway, sitting in my office in El Segundo (a small city near Los Angeles International Airport) I edited one that was for some Asian country. It didn't take a lot of editing..... STATE DEPARTMENT TRAVEL ADVISORY - Los Angeles ============================================================ Los Angeles - Warning April 30, 1992 The Department of State advises all sane creatures to defer all travel to Los Angeles. The Department also advises that only limited police and fire services are available in the city due to "occupied" staffing. Recent months have seen a period of political change accompanied by social and economic difficulty. Rising tension, accompanied by a number of incidents of politically inspired violence, culminated in cancellation of common sense and fair judicial process of law and a large number of arrests seem certain. Humans in Los Angeles are advised to avoid all public gatherings and demonstrations, even if you are dragged from your vehicle, claim that you have a hair appointment elsewhere and are running late, because they have the potential to turn violent "unexpectedly. " All living creatures currently in Los Angeles are advised to avoid travel to the south-central region of Los Angeles. Numerous incidents of banditry and assault involving locals have been reported. Bandits have robbed, assaulted, kidnapped, and killed travelers in south-central Los Angeles. The city government and local judical groups have closed a large section of Los Angeles between common sense and reality for security reasons. Anyone wishing to avoid death and dismemberment currently in Los Angeles is encouraged to avoid donut shops, high speed police pursuit, trial by jury, Korean grocery stores and the local indiginous population. No. 92-Oh Hell! This advisory replaces the advisory dated April 29, 1992, to reflect worsening conditions due to the complete loss of common sense in southern California.
(From the "Rest" of RHF)