Sacramento, CA, Oct 3, 1995 (Disassociated Press) -- California today joined 6 other states in passing a "wealthy defendant evidence act" in the wake of this morning's verdict in the Simpson(TM) trial. The new law requires prosecutors to evaluate the wealth of very wealthy defendants, plus any potential income they might gain from book and movie deals, and compare it to the weight of evidence against the defendant. If the defendant is really rich, the case must be very solid before the prosecution will seek and indictment. "We just wasted millions prosecuting Simpson(TM), and cost the country untold amounts of lost productivity," according to attorney general Dan Lungren. "Let's face it, the police always make little mistakes and have their foibles -- they're human. A rich defendant can always afford the lawyers to exploit these mistakes and get off, so it just wastes valuable taxpayer money to prosecute them." he explained. "For example, should Microsoft(R) Chairman Bill Gates (America's wealthiest man) commit a murder in California, we would want a videotape shot by the Pope of him slicing his victim's throat and a full confession. Notorization by the President or doing the murder in front of the jury would also help. For policemen beating a motorist, we don't need the Pope as cameraman, but the video must be in focus. Poor black residents of Los Angeles, however, would be prosecuted if Mark Fuhrman doesn't like them -- it's a sliding scale." State legislators estimated the bill would save millions, in spite of protests by the Court TV cable network and Time-Warner/Turner/CNN. An alternate proposal, to simply bill the wealthy defendants their expected legal expenses in exchange for the dropping of charges was dropped as potentially unconstitutional.
(From the "Rest" of RHF)