Pipe down, already

Texas Utilities, Glen Rose TX
(chuckle, heard it)
From the rec.humor.funny joke archives.

The following was passed around my brother's CAD office, author unknown. PN 4314 PIPING SPECIFICATIONS 1. All pipe is to be made of a long hole; surrounded by metal centered around the hole. 2. All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length. 3. All pipe is to be made of the very best quality, perfectly tubular or pipular. 4. All acid proof pipe is to be made of acid proof metal. 5. O.D. of pipe must exceed the I.D. otherwise the hole will be on the outside. 6. All pipe is to be supplied with nothing in the hole so that water, steam, or other stuff can be put in the pipe at a later date. 7. All pipe is to be supplied without rust as this can be more readily supplied at the job-site. 8. All pipe is to be cleaned free of any covering such as mud, tar, barnacles, or any form of manure before putting up, otherwise it will make lumps under the paint. 9. All pie over 500 feet long must have the words "long pipe" clearly painted on each end so the fitter will know it's long pipe. 10. Pipe over two miles long must also have these words painted in the middle so the fitter will not have to walk the full length of the pipe to determine if it's long pipe. 11. All pipe over 6" in diameter is to have the words "large pipe" painted on it so the fitter will not use it for small pipe. 12. All pipe closures are to be open at one end. 13. All pipe fittings are to be made of the same stuff as the pipe. 14. No fittings are to be put on pipe unless specified. If you do so, straight pipe will become crooked pipe. 15. Fittings come in all sorts of sizes and shapes. Be sure to specify the direction you are going when ordering. 16. Fittings come bolted, welded, or screwed -- always use the screwed, they're the best. 17. Flanges must be used on all pipe.. Flanges must have holes for bolts separated from the big hole in the middle. 18. If flanges are to be blank or blind, the big hole in the middle must be filled in with metal. -- Robert Eden 817-897-0491 Glen Rose, TX Comanche Peak Steam Electric Station robert@cpvax.cpses.tu.com ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ politicese for a nuke plant

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