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Back in high school band we had music folders which had "Frederick Fennel's
points for performance" printed inside which were supposed to make us better
musicians - things like "Support each note. Listen for tone." In memory of
a graduated section member, for two years the baritone horn section of the
North East High School band lived by:

                   Seymour's Laws

[Explanations are bracketed when needed.]

1. When in doubt, play "The Baby Elephant Walk."
2. When in doubt, and you don't know "The Baby Elephant Walk,"
     play LOUD.
3. When told to play softer, play louder.
4. When told not to play "The Baby Elephant Walk, or to play very
     soft, don't play at all.
5. Make sure all conversations during band involve music... for
     example, talk about Michael Jackson: "How bout that San Fransisco
     flight?"
6. Blow off all year EXCEPT in preformances.
7. Support the Blades [local hockey team].
8. Mr. T is your idol. Watch "The A-Team" every Tuesday - even if it means
     taking a tv to a basketball game. [Guess this dates these a bit]
9. Make "Where's Chuck?" your slogan. [Chuck was the old band director;
                                       the replacement was not well-liked]
10. Pro wrestling takes precedence over all band activities.
11. In any fundraising activity, limit yourself to 10% of your quota.
12. Practice good breath support. Blasting IS good tone.
13. Your horn is a school instrument. Leave it at school, where it
     belongs.
14. Chair placement is not important -- try to be last.
15. Your horn is your best friend. Tread it with care, or else you
     won't be able to play as loud.
16. Nothing is illegal, as long as you don't get caught.
17. The C-scale is as follows: E, F, G, A, B, C, D, E. [A nice harmony]
18. Respect no authority.
19. The only reason you are in pep band is to get into basketball
     games free.
20. Respect your fellow section member's choice of solos. Don't play
     during his, and he won't play during yours.
21. Solos are to be mutually agreed upon by the entire section, and
     do not necessarily have to be written in the music.
22. Your music is only a rough guideline for you to follow. You do not,
     by any means, have to play exactly what's written, as long as it
     doesn't sound too bad. Harmonies are always welcome.
23. These rules do not have to be followed exactly. They are only a
     help in learning to put up with thw hassles you will encounter in
     everyday band.
24. Good luck and good blasting!!!

(The worst part is, we actually followed most of these.)

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