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TOP TEN PUNISHMENTS FOR ZSA-ZSA GABOR
10. Put her in a cell with Big Bertha, the Original Party Convict.
9. Put her in a cell with Leona Helmsley.
8. Cut off her Oil of Olay supply and watch her face shrivel into a raisin.
7. Reveal that Zsa-zsa is an ancient dialect meaning "Egotistical, Talentless Bitch."
6. Have all prison officials refer to her as Eva and constantly hum the "Green Acres" theme.
5. Tell her what happens when you call Big Bertha "dahling."
4. Have her wash all the windows in the certain police officer's home, and give her a lousy tip.
3. Make her host the national premiere of her closet classic "Crisco Sluts do Beverly Hills."
2. Make her do a commercial for Attends adult undergarments.
And the number one punishment for Zsa-zsa Gabor...
1. Tie her up naked, cover her with honey, set her near an anthill, and let nature take its course!
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