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Dark Ages Tale

maxcbrow@indiana.edu (Max Brown)
(chuckle, long)

Two knights are riding through a forest in medieval England when they come upon a peasant gathering sticks. "Lo there, yon farmer!" exclaims one of the knights, "Why dost thou labor in this forest at so late an hour? There be hostile beasts and men of military about."

"I beg thy forgiveness my lords," replies the peasant, "but my hearth fire did burn to nothing of late, and my animals are bleating with discomfort."

"Very well," responds the knight, "then go thee about your task with haste." The knight then lowers his voice and leans closer to the peasant. "But I pray thee, hast thou recently seen another knight in this forest, clad as we? His armor be of green hue and painted upon his shield be a rampant griffin."

"My apologies lords, but no. This night I hath seen no one in the forest save thee."

The knights thank the peasant and continue on their way. Only a short while later they come upon a milk maid leading a cow along their path. "Halt there, woman! This is not the time for the movement of cattle!" exclaims one of the knights. "Hostile beasts and men of military move in this forest during the night."

"Forgive me sire," responds the maid, "but the young son of my mistress is ill and requires nutrition. All of there cattle are bare, and she did ask that I bring to her a replacement post haste."

"Very well," responds the knight, "bring her the cow but be thee fleet." He then leans closer to the maid and lowers his voice. "But I pray thee, ponder deeply and then reply, hast thou recently seen another knight in this forest, clad as we? His armor be of green hue and painted upon his shield be a rampant griffin."

"No sire," replies the maid, "this unsavory character I have not seen. I would remember such an image."

The knights thank the maid and continue on their way. A short while later one of the knights lifts his visor and turns to the other, "Where the hell is Steve?"


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